Having trouble shaking previous beliefs

[OGirly]

So I know that what I used to believe as true (religion) is not true. A Richard Dawkins quote comes to mind "We are all atheists of most of the worlds religions, some of us just go one more", or at least something similar. I'm having trouble letting go completely of that 'one more' god. I understand why. I was psychologically conditioned from a young age through various sources to believe in god. I was manipulated.

Okay...so I know that the belief is false, but why can't I shake it completely? Why do I still feel compelled to make bargains with god to help things go right when I know there is no god? Why do I still sometimes fear even thinking "There is no God"? Why do I still call out to him when I am in a time of distress? Why do I worry about hell? I would like to be free from this (especially the fears of hell because that's in particular distressing...especially since I don't rationally believe in a hell...errrrrrrrr). Is it simply a matter of reconditioning myself like I was conditioned when I was young? Can I just consciously free myself from these thinking patterns?

My training from school says yes, by all means; but then why do I struggle with it so much? My gosh it's frustrating. Any advice? How did you handle this if you came from a religion? I'm going crazy honestly (which I guess isn't that hard for me to do lol). I kick myself every time I catch myself making some sort of plea to god. Does this get easier with time?

lol...doesn't this post just seep with frustration?? I sure hope so!