RE: To those who were once believers and are now atheists, some advice?
March 19, 2014 at 6:29 pm
(This post was last modified: March 19, 2014 at 6:31 pm by *Deidre*.)
(March 19, 2014 at 2:55 pm)rasetsu Wrote: I don't know whether I'm on the wrong side of the fence here or not. My last best friend that I had, I split up with her over religion. We had been watching TV, and I tried to illustrate a point using stories of women in the bible. She knew I spent a lot of time with atheists, so she jumped to the conclusion that I was making fun of her religion, Christianity. The more I plead innocence, the more she accused me of making atheist arguments. When I pointed out that I was a Hindu who loved her god very much, she said she couldn't acknowledge that because her god told her to have no other god before him. I felt so betrayed and hurt. I broke off the relationship the next day.
In some sense, it would have been nice to have been able to continue on as we had before that night, but that possibility was over and done. I realized I'd never feel safe with her again because of the vicious and relentless way she attacked me, so there was no "continuing on as we had before" — she had ended what we had as surely as if she had been the one who broke up with me. While it's somewhat true that we broke apart because of religion, the deeper truth is that I broke up with her because I could no longer trust her. Maybe our trust might have recovered, but given how she ignored my pleas of innocence that night, I was afraid she could turn on me at any moment, regardless of what I had to say in my own defense.
Can I say, this is probably at the heart of it. Trust. Sadly, my former friends didn't trust me, because they tend to only trust religious people. It's so birzarre, because I HAVE NOT CHANGED. I'm still the same person I always was, just no longer following any particular faith or religion.
Your story really wow, resonates with me. She was your best friend, do you ever think about her? Do you ever, I don't know, wish it was different? (not trying to pry, just asking)
Maybe all I have in my head right now are the good times with my former friends, and I just miss them.
(March 19, 2014 at 5:02 pm)Beccs Wrote: I haven't actually lost any friends because of it, at least that I'm aware of, anyway. My mother and her sisters have been somewhat distant, however.Yep, you're right. Doesn't make it hurt less, but you are right.
I've always viewed it this way: If they were truly your friends they would accept you for who you are. It may be hard at first, but it's their loss, not yours, and they're not worthy of you attention or thoughts.
