When I was a kid there wasn't such thing as ADHD, or ADD, but if there was I think I would have been diagnosed with ADHD. As I grew up I started to withdraw, and kept to myself, when I was 17 I had my first serious girl friend, this brought me out of my shell, but then she left me for another girl. This really upset me a lot, ever since I was a kid I didn't feel like other boys, I felt something wasn't right with me, so I had to try hard to act like other boys, this was because I felt like a girl.
So when I found my girl friend it made me feel more like a man, but when she dumped me for a girl it made me feel like I would never be a true man.
After this I became paranoid of women, I didn't hate them, I just didn't trust them, and so I became a homo, or at lest I thought I was. While I was once at a party I was drugged and raped by I don't know how many guys, I just could move my arms or legs, they then through me into a swimming pool and after that I don't remember anything at all until I woke up the next morning.
This really stuffed up my life, now not only paranoid of women I was now paranoid of men. All my life I seem to attract people who want to hurt me. I don't say much about it to others as it sounds like I am making it all up. But not long after I was raped a friends friend put a knife to my throat and made me, well you know. He kept that stricken knife on me throughout the night, I was so scared that I felt like shitting myself. I told him that I liked him a lot and that I will come back later that morning, this was me pretending that I liked him so he would trust me, and it worked, I never went out for ages after that.
Having all that on top of me, the worse was to come, and this was one night my friends and I went for a drive just out of town, there was a swimming hole, but it was too cold, as it was about 2 am in the morning, so we headed back home, I was the driver. I remember think to myself as I was driving, I can't wait to get ride of my friend so I can get home to bed, and just I heard a shot, at the time I thought it was a rock hitting under the car. I felt a strange feeling in my lower leg and ankle area, I went to feel it and my fingers went through the hole the bullet made. Well all hell brock loose and I went into shock, the car span off the road. My friends didn't know what happened, they were running around panicking, one friend yelled out to me to not move my leg as it was just about daggling with a gapping hole. Anyway they end up stopping a car which was a taxi, who radioed for the ambulance and police.
After this I went down hill and was diagnosed with schizophrenia only a few years later, I think I was always going that way, but all the things in my life that happened brought it on big time. Anyway that's my story.
So when I found my girl friend it made me feel more like a man, but when she dumped me for a girl it made me feel like I would never be a true man.
After this I became paranoid of women, I didn't hate them, I just didn't trust them, and so I became a homo, or at lest I thought I was. While I was once at a party I was drugged and raped by I don't know how many guys, I just could move my arms or legs, they then through me into a swimming pool and after that I don't remember anything at all until I woke up the next morning.
This really stuffed up my life, now not only paranoid of women I was now paranoid of men. All my life I seem to attract people who want to hurt me. I don't say much about it to others as it sounds like I am making it all up. But not long after I was raped a friends friend put a knife to my throat and made me, well you know. He kept that stricken knife on me throughout the night, I was so scared that I felt like shitting myself. I told him that I liked him a lot and that I will come back later that morning, this was me pretending that I liked him so he would trust me, and it worked, I never went out for ages after that.
Having all that on top of me, the worse was to come, and this was one night my friends and I went for a drive just out of town, there was a swimming hole, but it was too cold, as it was about 2 am in the morning, so we headed back home, I was the driver. I remember think to myself as I was driving, I can't wait to get ride of my friend so I can get home to bed, and just I heard a shot, at the time I thought it was a rock hitting under the car. I felt a strange feeling in my lower leg and ankle area, I went to feel it and my fingers went through the hole the bullet made. Well all hell brock loose and I went into shock, the car span off the road. My friends didn't know what happened, they were running around panicking, one friend yelled out to me to not move my leg as it was just about daggling with a gapping hole. Anyway they end up stopping a car which was a taxi, who radioed for the ambulance and police.
After this I went down hill and was diagnosed with schizophrenia only a few years later, I think I was always going that way, but all the things in my life that happened brought it on big time. Anyway that's my story.
