As a cisgender woman who barely knew only one transgender person in my life, I don't run into transphobia that much. But when I do, I never know what to say in defense of them
Today, in particular, I got into a heated discussion about this with my boyfriend. While he does fully support gay/lesbian/bisexual rights, he believes that transgender people are sick in the head. He kept saying things like, "I can go around believing I'm a dinosaur, but that doesn't make me a dinosaur." and "There's surgery to make me look like a gorilla, but that won't make me a gorilla." I knew it was kind of idiotic to compare this to something entirely different, but I didn't know what to say. Whenever I tried to, he just accused me of basing my arguments on emotion. My argument was "If the person was born male but identifies as female, or vice versa, I think other people should respect that." He doesn't think so. He thinks that people only do that because they're afraid of being offensive. And he's basing most of this on a costumer he had who got offended when he called her "sir".
The thing is, I've seen these arguments all over the internet, but I never actually thought anyone I knew believed them. Basically, this is the first time I've ever had a debate like this in person (and, when I ran out of things to say, I just passive-aggressively said, "Fine." Typical
). I'm asking those of you who run into this sort of thing everyday, or at least more often than I do. What do you usually say? Have you ever convinced someone that they may just be wrong when it comes to transgender issues? I'm not looking for a quick fix, by the way. I just want something compelling. Something that will at least make people like my boyfriend think, or rethink, if you will.
Side note: I haven't been around because I've been so busy with school (I needed to get my grades up). But I'll be posting more often from now on. So, in case anyone remembers me, and missed me, HI!!!
Today, in particular, I got into a heated discussion about this with my boyfriend. While he does fully support gay/lesbian/bisexual rights, he believes that transgender people are sick in the head. He kept saying things like, "I can go around believing I'm a dinosaur, but that doesn't make me a dinosaur." and "There's surgery to make me look like a gorilla, but that won't make me a gorilla." I knew it was kind of idiotic to compare this to something entirely different, but I didn't know what to say. Whenever I tried to, he just accused me of basing my arguments on emotion. My argument was "If the person was born male but identifies as female, or vice versa, I think other people should respect that." He doesn't think so. He thinks that people only do that because they're afraid of being offensive. And he's basing most of this on a costumer he had who got offended when he called her "sir".
The thing is, I've seen these arguments all over the internet, but I never actually thought anyone I knew believed them. Basically, this is the first time I've ever had a debate like this in person (and, when I ran out of things to say, I just passive-aggressively said, "Fine." Typical
). I'm asking those of you who run into this sort of thing everyday, or at least more often than I do. What do you usually say? Have you ever convinced someone that they may just be wrong when it comes to transgender issues? I'm not looking for a quick fix, by the way. I just want something compelling. Something that will at least make people like my boyfriend think, or rethink, if you will.Side note: I haven't been around because I've been so busy with school (I needed to get my grades up). But I'll be posting more often from now on. So, in case anyone remembers me, and missed me, HI!!!
Don’t ask.
