Friends with benefits?

[*Deidre*]

I think the problem lately is, I don't know what I want.

It does sound like a problem. I know what I want. Please explain.

I don't know if I don't 'want' a relationship per se, or I'm just afraid of losing another one. That's the best way I can explain it, lately. :/

You know what you want? You are lucky to know without hesitation. :=)

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What do you all think about the concept of ‘friends with benefits?

I think it's a wonderful idea and has a way better track record than marriage.

Asked two of my offline Christian friends and they say it ‘cheapens your worth in a man’s eyes.

They're idiots. It doesn't cheapen the man if a woman just wants to have friends with benefits so why does it cheapen women? sounds a bit hypocritical. Just more Anti-Sex rhetoric from religious people.

My offline atheist friends say ‘nothing wrong with it, but if feelings emerge, it can ruin the friendships.

It doesn't matter if you're Atheist or Theist, because you will find Atheists that think it's wrong to have FWB and you'll find Christians that will love FWB. It doesn't matter, in fact it seems like Christians are more loose than Atheists according to where most STD's are, the more religious areas of the U.S. But sure, lots of things can ruin a relationship, not just having sex with them, so why not give it a try if both parties want it?

Hmmm. I don’t want to get serious with anyone, but hanging out with someone in a ‘mutually beneficial’ arrangement, sounds…appealing.

You're damn right it does, and it gives you more chances to find that special someone if you're actually looking for one person to be with, lots of people want that. Most people want to have someone they can depend on their whole life, so getting yourself out there more and experimenting with more people gives you the chance to find whoever and whatever you want in life. It seems that stifling choices makes for a worse world where people are less happy with who they're with.

This is good advice, you know. I agree, that my Christian friends are basically giving the anti-sex rhetoric lecture. The religion itself is built on how women should protect themselves from all the big bad men in the world. Ugh. Glad to be out of that cult. But, that cult-like thinking still prevails sometimes within me. And I find myself doubting the things I want, should I do this or that? Is it...dare I say...moral? Immoral? I know better, I do. But, old habits die hard, thus my thread topic here, to gain some objective insights.

Thank you for your thoughts, you are quite logical about all of this!