The Historical Jesus is real and He rose from the grave

[Revelation777]

He actually thinks he's doing God's work by presenting unsubstantiated assertions about reality, in the belief that they might save a few souls from the eternal torment allowed by his all powerful, righteous God because somebody ate an Apple, and the Romans had particularly gruesome ways of putting people to death.

Little does he know that he's actually failing the test of life. You see, it turns out that God put us here to see if we'd believe the most batshit crazy ideas about how the universe works without reason and against all reason. Those who critically think in spite of being threatened with eternal torture show not just good reasoning skills but also ethical integrity, willing to face an unjust eternity of torment rather than love the tormentor.

You see, there's only so much room in Heaven and God needs to compete with other creations. That means running a lean organization composed of people with both brains and ethics. Sorry for the rest but difficult choices have to be made.

When the curtain is lifted, we'll get to be executives while Rev777 will be damned to forever stand in the perpetual unemployment line.

Sure, I just made all that up but I offer just as much evidence to believe my story as he does and doesn't it make a fuckton more sense than his story?

I'm sure glad you don't make the rules.

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He thinks he's getting brownie points from his godboy.

That'd make an excellent t-shirt.

I am doing as the Lord is directing me. He has placed a love in my heart for atheists.