A busload of Brummies goes over a cliff and all the passengers find themselves at the Pearly Gates.
St Peter sees them wobbling up and immediately goes to stop them. "No no no," he shouts, "We're not having the likes of you lot up here! Fuck off back the other way!"
Then his intercom beeps and he hears God's voice. "Peter, I want a word woth you. Step into my office." He takes care to lock the Gates and then goes into God's office.
"Peter," says the big man, "I am sore displeased with you. Why did you send my children away so rudely?"
Peter says, "But they're Brummies! They're all chavs! They'll most likely nick anything not nailed down, including Jesus!"
God shakes his head. "You ought to know by now that all are welcome in my Kingdom. Go and apologise, and tell them they can enter into Heaven."
So Peter goes off. Five minutes later he's back.
"It's no good, Lord; they've gone."
"Send out the archangels and find them. It is my will that they join me at my right hand."
"No, Lord," says Peter. "I meant the Pearly Gates have gone."
St Peter sees them wobbling up and immediately goes to stop them. "No no no," he shouts, "We're not having the likes of you lot up here! Fuck off back the other way!"
Then his intercom beeps and he hears God's voice. "Peter, I want a word woth you. Step into my office." He takes care to lock the Gates and then goes into God's office.
"Peter," says the big man, "I am sore displeased with you. Why did you send my children away so rudely?"
Peter says, "But they're Brummies! They're all chavs! They'll most likely nick anything not nailed down, including Jesus!"
God shakes his head. "You ought to know by now that all are welcome in my Kingdom. Go and apologise, and tell them they can enter into Heaven."
So Peter goes off. Five minutes later he's back.
"It's no good, Lord; they've gone."
"Send out the archangels and find them. It is my will that they join me at my right hand."
"No, Lord," says Peter. "I meant the Pearly Gates have gone."
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
