ah... kids... little bundles of joy, or so they say...
Then you hear stories...
Stories of parents who never ever had to even raise their voices at their kids... and they never misbehaved.
And you compare your kids to those and realize... it's impossible not to lose your mind with my kids!! Those parents in those stories, would have gone through hell with my kids.
Reality is, each kid is an individual human being, complete with a personality and all that... Some have mushy personalities and always do what you say... up until they get pregnant at 14.
And then some are twisted and always ready for battle... and never want to do what you think is better for them... never!!
My theory is that between one and about 8 years old, a slap here or there, as required, will do good. It's better to slap them when they do something dangerous that could lead to much bigger injuries, so they remember it, hopefully, than just telling them how it's wrong and talk talk talk which is just wind... and easily forgotten. The reflex of pain avoidance is a good one, if it's there for the right reasons and you never damage anything...
My eldest has always been the worst behaved of the bunch and, nowadays, I only need to raise my voice and rasp a short order. Everyone turns to attention and obeys.
Of course, this raising of the voice comes after the attempt to convey the message through normal discourse, once... twice... thr... yell!
And is then followed by something like "why is it that you only listen when I scream? why? why don't you just do things when I tell you?"
They never answer...
Now, spankings... I don't like them. A slap here or there is enough. Is a slap a spanking?
First-world punishments for the elder kids:
- One day with no computer access... stretching to one week or month or until the end of the school year, as required.
- No TV (this is impossible when you have more than one kid, as it either becomes a punishment for all or none) - I use it when they're eating and can't get their eyes of the telly... first I pause it, and if they don't finish their plates in 5 minutes, I reason that the phosphorous on the screen is getting damaged and so I turn it off.
- I haven't reached the point where my kids have their own mobile phones... but confiscation of the phone for a day, week, etc... might do wonders, specially now that these devices can do anything a computer does, specially games!
Then you hear stories...
Stories of parents who never ever had to even raise their voices at their kids... and they never misbehaved.
And you compare your kids to those and realize... it's impossible not to lose your mind with my kids!! Those parents in those stories, would have gone through hell with my kids.
Reality is, each kid is an individual human being, complete with a personality and all that... Some have mushy personalities and always do what you say... up until they get pregnant at 14.
And then some are twisted and always ready for battle... and never want to do what you think is better for them... never!!
My theory is that between one and about 8 years old, a slap here or there, as required, will do good. It's better to slap them when they do something dangerous that could lead to much bigger injuries, so they remember it, hopefully, than just telling them how it's wrong and talk talk talk which is just wind... and easily forgotten. The reflex of pain avoidance is a good one, if it's there for the right reasons and you never damage anything...
My eldest has always been the worst behaved of the bunch and, nowadays, I only need to raise my voice and rasp a short order. Everyone turns to attention and obeys.
Of course, this raising of the voice comes after the attempt to convey the message through normal discourse, once... twice... thr... yell!
And is then followed by something like "why is it that you only listen when I scream? why? why don't you just do things when I tell you?"
They never answer...
Now, spankings... I don't like them. A slap here or there is enough. Is a slap a spanking?
First-world punishments for the elder kids:
- One day with no computer access... stretching to one week or month or until the end of the school year, as required.
- No TV (this is impossible when you have more than one kid, as it either becomes a punishment for all or none) - I use it when they're eating and can't get their eyes of the telly... first I pause it, and if they don't finish their plates in 5 minutes, I reason that the phosphorous on the screen is getting damaged and so I turn it off.
- I haven't reached the point where my kids have their own mobile phones... but confiscation of the phone for a day, week, etc... might do wonders, specially now that these devices can do anything a computer does, specially games!
