Is there a solution to this problem?

[Paul the Human]

Not to be a downer, but if she's a good mother, she will tell you that her and the kid are a package deal. It can't be any other way. If you do start dating her, she won't expect you to support the child at first, but you have to be willing to do that eventually if she is to believe it can go anywhere... and if she doesn't care whether or not it goes anywhere... she probably isn't worth the effort to begin with. Same for you. If you can't see a time when you'd be interested in supporting the kid (at the very least), then don't start something with her that can only end badly for both of you.