Is there a solution to this problem?

[Disinter]

I admit that I haven't read every page of this discussion, and I'm only 17, so my advice isn't much better than shit (most likely). I do have to say, Ace that you and I seem very similar in how our emotions work. Every time I am in a situation that provokes emotion, my emotions are very conflicting. Both sides are equal, in that they both "say" opposite things. From what I've learned, it's always best for me to cast aside these emotions completely. Using my objective intuition to present the possibilities, I can then use logical reasoning to choose the 'best' possibility. Of course this process is subject to mistake, as I do not have god's (if there was one) unparalleled logic (no one is right all of the time). However, it has been much more rewarding than the situations in which I followed through with my feelings (and especially when I used a combination of emotion and logic). My advice as someone looking into your situation from the outside: Forget about the relationship. I too dislike children. I've done community service, babysitting, all that shiz-nazz, and all it does is make me feel standoffish towards them. I can't provide that emotional support, and I freeze up every time they start crying or hugging me. It just seems like we have some common ground, and based on that common ground the likelihood of this potential relationship not working out is slim. I know that I didn't provide any unique expertise in this problem, but a better solution seems to revolve around you not jumping into a relationship.....no matter how strong of a bond you two possess. You have to also remember the part where she had a kid with some guy who doesn't give a shit. To me, that is very irresponsible. It is very easy not to get pregnant (especially if she likes it plopped on her face), so there are three apparent possibilities:
A) She let him get her pregnant, because she thought the man would be responsible enough. She foolishly trusted an untrustworthy man.
B) She was too hyped up about the sex that she forgot she can get pregnant given that she's ovulating (not smart).
C) She didn't/doesn't care.....

Also, you mentioned the drugs/smoking/drinking bit. I would advise you not to worry about this, unless she is overdoing it (well, smoking sucks ass anyway). If she's not being cautious about those things, this says something....Either she isn't all that smart (because she'll regret overuse in the future), or she's entered some sort of apathy (is this something you can deal with?).

Again. I know that my post isn't enlightening in the least, and it contains obvious observations....but at the same token I want to stress to you how important the future is on this one. Do you see yourself happy with her and her kid in the future given the information you do have (I mean the absolute, concrete data)?

This is just the way I see it of course.....Sorry that I sort of rambled.