(September 20, 2014 at 7:06 pm)Geekyalbatross Wrote: In public, that makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't think I have an obligation to hold hands and play along when I'm not in her house. How to I tell her this without offending her? How do I make her understand that I find it inappropriate to do religious things I public, especially when she knows I'm against those things personally? Don't want to make it awkward for us or for my sister, but want to make sure I assert that my disbelief is as important to my identity as her belief. Thanks for any advice and thoughts! - Lisa
I'm guessing that since you are non-confrontational, any conversations about it would be uncomfortable as well. Here are a few tips that might work.
1. Start eating as soon as the food comes.
2. If its an option, take on the responsibility of serving food to the rest of the group - this gives you something to do while they finish their prayers.
3. While you are waiting for food, get your hands messy - like putting ketchup on your plate and licking it off your fingers. That should get you out of any hand-holding.
4. Excuse yourself to go wash your hands when you see them getting ready to pray.
5. Develop your own obsessive pre-meal ritual - rearranging forks and spoons, fiddling with the napkin etc.
6. If possible, indicate that you are quite hungry and can't wait to get started - like saying "what's taking so long" or "finally". In that case delaying the eating for prayer would be rude.
I'd suggest trying one or more of these things on a regular basis until the message gets across that you are just not that into prayer. If anyone tries to push it despite that, try saying "No thanks" casually, as if you were refusing salt.
