How can Christians and Atheist respect each other's beliefs?

[robvalue]

Hello Hezekiah I'd like to say first that you're one of the nicest and most enlightened believers I have met, based on what I have read from you on here. I feel it likely that we could get along just fine.

The question you ask is complex for me. In my own experience, I have found that people I have met who are overly vocal about their christianity are not nice people. This has lead me to the conclusion before that christians aren't very nice. But I realized this is a skewed stereotype, because I have doubtless got on just fine with loads of christians who haven't ever mentioned their faith. And those that mention it in passing I have got on with fine too. So the conclusion I have drawn from experience is that the more religious someone is, the less likely it is I am going to like them as a person and to get along with them.

This makes total sense, because in my opinion christianity is evil, corrupt, immoral, bizarre, controlling, redundant and inconsistent. The more seriously you take the stuff written in the bible as fact, the worse your morals will be and the less nice a person you will be. So if you don't take it that seriously and pick out the bits that seem relevant to you, then probably we can get along fine. But if you really believe all the horrible stuff, you're probably not going to be able to leave it alone, and will try and influence me, bother me, preach to me and act in ways I consider immoral or ridiculous.

So the problem to me is that if someone is a "good christian" then they are likely a bad person who I can't get along with. If they are a "bad christian", then probably we will be fine. But then I am left confused, because the bad christian has just taken from the religion the nice parts, so all they are doing is carrying around a mirror for themselves, and seeing this as somehow located within a religion. I don't know why they want to associate in any way with the rest of it, which they would never actually follow or act on. I've always felt people have their own morals, and they use religion to a lesser or greater extent to justify them or impose them on others. If your morals are good, then you don't line up with christianity. So I don't know how you can accept it, or why you need it. It's like staying with an abusive partner because they are nice to you some of the time. (Not really, but sort of.)

But that's my problem