Santa and Other Lies to the Kids

[mlmooney89]

So talk on another thread got me thinking about this and I think I have my mind made up but I don't know if I'm making a selfish decision.

I decided I don't want to tell my kid that Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc are real. I'm being lazy for one because I don't want to deal with the fall out of when she finally learns the truth nor trying to keep up the lie for years. Two I'm selfish and I want her to know I worked hard to buy her gifts not that some guy randomly deposited them to her house. Growing up Santa was the hero of Christmas when my mom worked her ass off to spoil us and got no credit for it. I also don't want to tell her that god isn't real and then turn around and say Santa is. Where do I draw the line?

I already know my mom will go off the deep end when I tell her because she LOVES the idea of Santa and childhood innocence and Christmas magic. Last year Charlie was only 3 weeks old so it didn't matter but this year she will be over a year and start understanding what we are saying. I know it still won't matter probably until the year after for her to start actually comprehending but I feel like if I'm going to do this I need to tell people now "Hey don't tell her Santa is coming if she is good or he will bring gifts" Am I really being selfish by taking this childhood magic from her, by inevitably making her the asshole kid that ruins it for everyone else, or by wanting the thanks instead of Santa getting it? My husband really doesn't give a fuck what we tell her, he said he will go with whatever I decide but I'm so torn.

It's not just Santa though it's all the fake people. I'm not against decorating for Christmas or buying presents for under the tree, I'd help her dye Easter eggs and hide them for her to find, leave money under her pillow for teeth. I would just let her know it's me doing it and it's all in good fun.

What did y'all tell your kids? Did you regret telling them what you did? Do you think it hurt or helped them later?

[Minimalist]

"Jesus" is an even bigger lie.

[mlmooney89]

"Jesus" is an even bigger lie.

Well yeah but that is something she will learn for herself. Her father is Catholic and I'm an atheist so she is bound to see that religion is in the eye of the beholder.

[Minimalist]

My kids figured it out on their own.

[The Grand Nudger]

I lie to my kids!  I lie so viciously to my kids.  

I go above and beyond the call of duty.  The rabbits in our creek..are "bunny scouts", under the direction of their unit commander, the easter bunny.  They're forward observers.  Not only do they provide intel on my childrens behavior to their commanding officer, he..in turn, passes it up the chain to Santa Claus.  Who both gives (and takes away) presents.  Up to and including any of their pets that get run over or find new homes.  

I eat the cookies and drink the milk.  I climb up on the roof and shake bells and stomp and hohoho..and then..when they pop out of bed..I play it off in wide eyed wonder.

"You heard what?  You saw what?  I think I may have heard that too!"  I even have my brother in law call on the phone and pretend to be santa.  

I reenforce their belief that their granny is a witch..and I maintain to this day that they were each dropped on our doorstep by a bird.  Not a stork, mind you, a turkey buzzard.  

We light dozens of pumpkins and leave them out in our field..and I put little cakes on a plate for the ghosts they guide in..like runway lights. 

I tell them so many stories, and provide so many conflicting magical accounts of events and causes and monsters and fairies (not mutually exclusive..the tooth fairy is a favorite of mine) that sometimes..they laugh their asses off at the absurdity of it all.

IDK what the end product of it will be, but thsufar..it's created moments of rare insight for children, and things that just make me smile and smile and smile. My kids believe that they live in a magic forest..but they also believe that they can't trust a damned word out of my mouth about magic. Good for them. I'll ask this, though..if they know they can't trust me on the subject..and I'm the most trustworthy thing in their lives..if they realize that the entire subject is inherently suspect...what are the odds that some random asshole is going to convince them that some other rando died and rose for their sins?

---

Some examples of the more ecclectic lies I've told or misconceptions I've reenforced.  

My eldest asked me why people put plus signs all over the road.  

-Math cult who liked adding numbers... and floral arrangements...and that the plus signs kept people from crashing their cars.

My youngest saw a raccoon out his window, and came bursting through the hallway, happy "Daddy, daddy, there's a baby werewolf in the yard!"  

-Sure is son...remember, they can't come in unless you invite them..and if you let them in they'll eat every cherry starburst in the house!

Eldest son got an infection under his fingernail

-You've got the Z.  Before long you'll be eating brains and stumbling around the bathroom.  (he chased his siblings around all day trying to touch them, lol)

.....I convinced my youngest daughter....that kittens grew on trees...and were calling her name when they meowed...because she's queen of cats (and all of you).  

What I'm saying, is that there's no lie too big or too small for me to foist on their asses.

[Angrboda]

I suspect they'll get it from the culture, if not from you. Setting up a conflict of who to believe. What a wicked world we live in.

[Joods]

I lie to my kids!  I lie so viciously to my kids.  

I go above and beyond the call of duty.  The rabbits in our creek..are "bunny scouts", under the direction of their unit commander, the easter bunny.  They're forward observers.  Not only do they provide intel on my childrens behavior to their commanding officer, he..in turn, passes it up the chain to Santa Claus.  Who both gives (and takes away) presents.  Up to and including any of their pets that get run over or find new homes.  

I eat the cookies and drink the milk.  I climb up on the roof and shake bells and stomp and hohoho..and then..when they pop out of bed..I play it off in wide eyed wonder.

"You heard what?  You saw what?  I think I may have heard that too!"  I even have my brother in law call on the phone and pretend to be santa.  

I reenforce their belief that their granny is a witch..and I maintain to this day that they were each dropped on our doorstep by a bird.  Not a stork, mind you, a turkey buzzard.  

We light dozens of pumpkins and leave them out in our field..and I put little cakes on a plate for the ghosts they guide in..like runway lights. 

I tell them so many stories, and provide so many conflicting magical accounts of events and causes and monsters and fairies (not mutually exclusive..the tooth fairy is a favorite of mine) that sometimes..they laugh their asses off at the absurdity of it all.

IDK what the end product of it will be, but thsufar..it's created moments of rare insight for children, and things that just make me smile and smile and smile. My kids believe that they live in a magic forest..but they also believe that they can't trust a damned word out of my mouth about magic. Good for them. I'll ask this, though..if they know they can't trust me on the subject..and I'm the most trustworthy thing in their lives..if they realize that the entire subject is inherently suspect...what are the odds that some random asshole is going to convince them that some other rando died and rose for their sins?

---

Some examples of the more ecclectic lies I've told or misconceptions I've reenforced.  

My eldest asked me why people put plus signs all over the road.  

-Math cult who liked adding numbers... and floral arrangements...and that the plus signs kept people from crashing their cars.

My youngest saw a raccoon out his window, and came bursting through the hallway, happy "Daddy, daddy, there's a baby werewolf in the yard!"  

-Sure is son...remember, they can't come in unless you invite them..and if you let them in they'll eat every cherry starburst in the house!

Eldest son got an infection under his fingernail

-You've got the Z.  Before long you'll be eating brains and stumbling around the bathroom.  (he chased his siblings around all day trying to touch them, lol)

.....I convinced my youngest daughter....that kittens grew on trees...and were calling her name when they meowed...because she's queen of cats (and all of you).  

What I'm saying, is that there's no lie too big or too small for me to foist on their asses.

OMG I lurve this! All of it.... Don't forget that reindeer poop around Christmas too!

Mooney, love, this decision is entirely yours and your husband's to make. Charlie is your daughter. Personally, I loved watching my kids light up at the thought of Santa and I have a host of stories for you. But this ultimately comes down to what you think is best for your family. 💜

[Catholic_Lady]

I decided a long time ago that if I was a parent I would not tell my kids that Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy are real. I don't have anything against parents who do choose to do so (mine did), but personally for myself I just see it as a respect and honesty type of thing. I wouldn't plan on telling them little "lies" like that, as harmless as they may be. It just wouldn't feel productive or right.

[Joods]

I could just go on and on about reindeer poop.

Another note: We never did do the elf on a shelf thing.

[mlmooney89]

I lie to my kids!  I lie so viciously to my kids.  

...

What I'm saying, is that there's no lie too big or too small for me to foist on their asses.

Lol you sound like my husband with other kids. He tells his nieces and a family friend's kid the most outrageous stories that the kids believe for half a second then realize he is joking and they laugh. They've all learned to not believe anything he says.

---

I know what I -want- to do. I -want- to tell them everything about all of it but let them know gently that they are all fun and games. I don't know if that is right of me though. I got to believe in Santa so I feel mean taking it from Charlie. Then again I also got really upset multiple times others told me he wasn't real and my parents had to keep talking me down and telling me the kids were lying. The whole religion thing was an easy decision, this Santa stuff isn't *sigh*