Respecting Christian family and friends

[Drich]

Here is my situation:

I am a middle-aged, unmarried guy, but my mother is a devout Christian and my siblings and their families are also Christian (although Christianity isn't central to their life in the way that it is to my mother's life). I visit my mother several times per week, because she lives alone.

I haven't been to church for several years, and my family is aware that I have had doubts about Christianity, but I have concealed my growing certainty that Christianity is false. I still find myself thinking Christian thoughts, and sometimes I wonder if Christians are interacting with a God of some kind even though the religion is factually false.

I've concealed my disbelief in Christianity, because I know it would upset my mother (she would worry that I am going to hell). I don't think anybody else in my family would care too much. I often watch Christian TV or movies with my mother. Sometimes we go to Christian bookstores. I don't go to church, but I've thought about attending a service now and then too.

I feel very conflicted. Concealing my true feelings is somewhat disrespectful. I feel a mixture of contempt and pity for Christians. I wish I could speak openly, but I don't want to poison their faith if it makes them happy. I hate the way Christianity divides people through the heaven and hell nonsense.

Just wondering if others face these issues?

I myself am not a fan of the fanatically religious. Or those who worship the art of worship/religion. Religion can be a double edged sword, in that it can bring people closer to God but at the same time religion can take people from Him.

Some of the greater opposition Christ faced was from the most devoutly religious of his day. Christ's answer was to show them the error of their way. If you can't do this in the way Christ did, then the best thing to do is to point them to someone who can, or just stay out of their way.