Respecting Christian family and friends

[Brakeman]

It is frustrating, because the people with flexible beliefs must bend to accommodate the people with rigid beliefs. That gives an evolutionary advantage to rigid beliefs. (Of course I don't blame my mother for having rigid views. That is just what she learned as a child. It is hard to change that indoctrination.)

It depends on the tact.

Many years ago I took a couple of semesters at a rural East Tennessee college and in a poli-sci class the Professor asked us to imagine creating a new government after an apocalypse or something similar. He then wrote down principles on the board as student's called them out. One off the first was free healthcare, another was equal pay for all workers, and so on. After quite a few of these, I raised my hand and declared to the teacher that I was surprised to find that east Tennessee held so many communists! He agreed that he was surprised too. Suddenly, upon hearing the "communist" buzzword all of the students took back their proposals, to the very last one.

I say that to say that your hardwired mother has many trigger buzzwords that guard her faith that you must avoid in order to not upset her.
Arguments that say there is no evidence Jesus existed, or that jesus doesn't talk to anybody would trigger terrible reactions. But end-runs can be made without hitting tripwires is you have tact.

I would suggest these starter topics, always posited as a open ended question.

1. Why do christians not behave better than non-christians despite a close intimate relationship with the pure source of goodness?

2. What happens to the varying levels of the mentally retarded on judgment day? How could they come though Jesus as required?

3. Why is it fair for jesus to allow the devils and demons to try to steer us weak minded humans away from what is righteous?

4. When your skin and brain cells die, do they go to heaven ahead of you?

5. Ask what does Jesus sound like in her prayers? Why does he use "feelings" to communicate to her but actual words to communicate to everyone else in the bible?

The point I'm getting at is that your mother won't hate you for asking kind, non trigger questions, only for obvious attacks.