Well I obviously can't reply to every one of those points so I'll make only a few comments (haven't quoted massively otherwise the post would be ... you know ... immense 
)
I can be friendly with someone and I can grow to respect them and I am certainly not saying it is impossible to become very friendly with people online but, maybe it's me, maybe it's my age & experience; in my experience online friends drift away or some such and that, to me, is not the mark of someone who cares about me ... and caring (along with liking & respecting) are what friendship is about to me.
I do like a lot of people here for example, I respect some of their views as well but do I care? A bit perhaps but I don't see how I can care all that much without developing an aspect of the relationship that isn't really available online.
Yes the internet brings all sorts together but I find people real offline, grounding ... the internet is strange (as you say we say many things here we do not in real life), we hide behind alter-ego's, shoot people down far more aggressively online than we would in real life and in that sense it's a kind of weird alternate dimension with links to the real world but a limited effect on it. I'm not sure I'm explaining that too well.
I'm not for one moment suggesting that everyone I know physically is my friend.
Er ... isn't that a bit circular?
No I wouldn't define my friends as "best friends" ... I never really got how you can have more than one best friend (which is a bit weird coz I have 2 ... go figure) but yeah, I do define friendship as something meaningful, the others (those to whom I am a friend in the wider sense of the word and little more than acquaintances). It may seem weird to you why I take this stance but to me it makes sense ... I'm an all or nothing person, totally WYSIWYG and when someone is my friend I put my faith in them, I am utterly loyal, given the right reasons I would probably follow them through hell or high-water.
I don't share your experience of normality ... I have some of my best conversations offline and the only reason I prefer online is because I have resources I can use and because I don't trip myself up verbally and make myself look a complete tit (yeah I know I still can). My online alter-ego is far more confident and able than my offline reality ... in reality I have to box far more carefully.
Kyu
) (January 5, 2009 at 11:01 pm)EvidenceVsFaith Wrote: But you can get to know someone really well without having to touch them I think. And along with them really well. And respect them. And at least consider them a 'friend'.
I can be friendly with someone and I can grow to respect them and I am certainly not saying it is impossible to become very friendly with people online but, maybe it's me, maybe it's my age & experience; in my experience online friends drift away or some such and that, to me, is not the mark of someone who cares about me ... and caring (along with liking & respecting) are what friendship is about to me.
I do like a lot of people here for example, I respect some of their views as well but do I care? A bit perhaps but I don't see how I can care all that much without developing an aspect of the relationship that isn't really available online.
Yes the internet brings all sorts together but I find people real offline, grounding ... the internet is strange (as you say we say many things here we do not in real life), we hide behind alter-ego's, shoot people down far more aggressively online than we would in real life and in that sense it's a kind of weird alternate dimension with links to the real world but a limited effect on it. I'm not sure I'm explaining that too well.
I'm not for one moment suggesting that everyone I know physically is my friend.
(January 5, 2009 at 11:01 pm)EvidenceVsFaith Wrote: Because its not meeting someone physically that makes them my friend. Its having a friendship with them.
Er ... isn't that a bit circular?
No I wouldn't define my friends as "best friends" ... I never really got how you can have more than one best friend (which is a bit weird coz I have 2 ... go figure) but yeah, I do define friendship as something meaningful, the others (those to whom I am a friend in the wider sense of the word and little more than acquaintances). It may seem weird to you why I take this stance but to me it makes sense ... I'm an all or nothing person, totally WYSIWYG and when someone is my friend I put my faith in them, I am utterly loyal, given the right reasons I would probably follow them through hell or high-water.
I don't share your experience of normality ... I have some of my best conversations offline and the only reason I prefer online is because I have resources I can use and because I don't trip myself up verbally and make myself look a complete tit (yeah I know I still can). My online alter-ego is far more confident and able than my offline reality ... in reality I have to box far more carefully.
Kyu
