RE: Nonsensical Fun: Distort a religion!
January 1, 2015 at 2:15 pm
(This post was last modified: January 1, 2015 at 2:16 pm by vorlon13.)
Latter Day Saints could go through and revise and update all the revelations their founder, Joseph Smith revealed as being perfectly received and transmitted to the world in their original form !!
Joseph Smith could start practicing polygamy BEFORE the angel appeared to him and threatened to hack him into bits if he didn't START practicing polygamy at that moment !!
Brigham Young could declare not only was Jesus Christ married, but he was married to THREE different women at the same time !!
Actual witnesses to the gold plates and Joseph Smith's revelations could be EXCOMMUNICATED from the church for heresy !!
Joseph Smith could get some old Egyptian paganistic funerary papyrus, and using the SAME translating stones and techniques he used on the Book of Mormon, translate a gospel he claims was written by the Old Testament prophet Abraham, HIMSELF !!
Joseph Smith and Brigham Young could pronounce the most hideous racist crap possible, record it perfectly and inerrantly in the Book of Mormon, The Pearl of Great Price, and Doctrines and Covenants, and then 100 years later, when the church needs some more members (and $$$), by executive fiat, they could negate all the racist bullshit with a statement not much more detailed than 'nevermind' !! And they could also claim that directive was a direct revelation from God, too, but never release the exact wording of the revelation !!
Joseph Smith could rewrite the Bible, announce he did so at the DIRECT behest of God, do so perfectly in the eyes of God, and ORDER his church to publish his Bible, which he also notes will conform EXACTLY to any older authentic texts that might yet be found in the mideast, and all these points will be transmitted perfectly and inerrantly from God to his church as directed in a published revelation (which is also noted to be perfectly received by the church), and then that revelation will be revised at least twice, the revised Bible will not conform in any particular way with the Dead Sea Scrolls to be found a century later, and the church even 150 years later, WILL STILL NOT HAVE PUBLISHED THE REVISED BIBLE !!!
Huh ??
What the fuck ??
THE FUCKING MORMONS DID ALL THAT SHIT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST !!!!
Joseph Smith could start practicing polygamy BEFORE the angel appeared to him and threatened to hack him into bits if he didn't START practicing polygamy at that moment !!
Brigham Young could declare not only was Jesus Christ married, but he was married to THREE different women at the same time !!
Actual witnesses to the gold plates and Joseph Smith's revelations could be EXCOMMUNICATED from the church for heresy !!
Joseph Smith could get some old Egyptian paganistic funerary papyrus, and using the SAME translating stones and techniques he used on the Book of Mormon, translate a gospel he claims was written by the Old Testament prophet Abraham, HIMSELF !!
Joseph Smith and Brigham Young could pronounce the most hideous racist crap possible, record it perfectly and inerrantly in the Book of Mormon, The Pearl of Great Price, and Doctrines and Covenants, and then 100 years later, when the church needs some more members (and $$$), by executive fiat, they could negate all the racist bullshit with a statement not much more detailed than 'nevermind' !! And they could also claim that directive was a direct revelation from God, too, but never release the exact wording of the revelation !!
Joseph Smith could rewrite the Bible, announce he did so at the DIRECT behest of God, do so perfectly in the eyes of God, and ORDER his church to publish his Bible, which he also notes will conform EXACTLY to any older authentic texts that might yet be found in the mideast, and all these points will be transmitted perfectly and inerrantly from God to his church as directed in a published revelation (which is also noted to be perfectly received by the church), and then that revelation will be revised at least twice, the revised Bible will not conform in any particular way with the Dead Sea Scrolls to be found a century later, and the church even 150 years later, WILL STILL NOT HAVE PUBLISHED THE REVISED BIBLE !!!
Huh ??
What the fuck ??
THE FUCKING MORMONS DID ALL THAT SHIT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST !!!!
