I'm afraid of being agnostic, I need help

[dyresand]

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Hello. I'm a 23 year old woman who was raised her whole life in a devoutly christian home. My father reads the bible everyday and talks about Jesus Christ all the time. Several of my siblings are christian, while a couple are not.
I have been struggling with religion my whole life. The logical side of me knows it doesn't make any sense. But my heart keeps telling me my parents can't be wrong. I feel so trapped, because Christianity goes against everything I believe in. For instance, I have a gay brother whom I care for very much and I can't fathom him going to hell for just loving another man.

I've studied the bible and I see so much hate and archaic reasoning. I've tried to force myself to believe in it, but I just can't. I'm honestly comfortable not being religious, but that fear of hell is still there. It's always in the back of my mind.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but I have no one else to talk to about this fear. How do I overcome this? How can I stop being so scared about hell, when I know it can't possibly be real?

I'm so angry that my parents raised me in this religion. I wish so much that I was born in a agnostic or atheist home so that I wouldn't be crippled with this fear of hell.

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I'm saying what if for you, I actually know God is real.
What if your parents are correct, if they are, then all the explanations of how the fear of hell will eventually go away, may very well be the Holy Spirit withdrawn from your life and I believe you know what that means.
I wanted to add from the other side of this problem you are facing, I really doubt your parents would ever give you a childhood to ruin your life, what do you believe.

GC