New Atheist, depressed, and wondering how to cope with reality.

[Mister Agenda]

My only problem, is now my dreams of wanting to become a Christian Singer Songwriter are shattered, I now believe that when my family passes, that's it. I'll never see them again, I'm too afraid to come out to my mother as an Atheist because none of my siblings ended up remaining Christian and I was her only success story, and I don't want to break her heart, and I worry my Christian girlfriend will be forced by her parents to break up with me, or she'll break up with me herself.

That is some rough stuff. The deeper you're in, the more painful it is to get out. I think the more common path for most atheists who were Christians is to be out of church for awhile and stop believing once they're 'outside the bubble'. I'm afraid you're doing it the hard way, but props to you for being able to do so. I'm not sure I could have left my Pentecostal upbringing without separating myself from it first (joined the military), although I had strong doubts while I was in it, the pressure to suppress them was great.

So, here I am, new atheist, depressed, trapped and now asking, how do you cope with all this? Thanks a bunch.

If you enjoy the things you're getting from Christianity and are comfortable calling yourself a Christian, there's no law that you have to tell everyone you don't buy all of it. I think millions of people are in your shoes and carry on staying a Christian in most people's eyes without a lot of difficulty. Whether this works for you depends on how important it is to you that the relevant players know what you really think. I don't think I would be comfortable saying that I believe Jesus is Christ, the incarnation of God; but are you really going to get cornered to where that or 'I'm an atheist' are your only options? If you did not consider yourself a Christian atheist, I wouldn't be recommending this, but given that, I think it's a viable option.

My father's side of the family found out years ago that I'm an atheist (someone finally asked). It's been a pain with the redoubling of re-conversion efforts, so I don't think I'll ever tell my mother's side of the family (they're not in touch with each other much).

However you handle it, I wish you the best.