Hey guys. I ended up deconverting from Christianity, and am now a Christian Atheist. So, now instead of seeing Jesus as the savior and son of God, I see him as a teacher of good morals and reject the existence of a God or Gods in the absence of evidence. But unlike a lot of people on YouTube, I will not claim to know that there is no God, I will only be in the position that I don't see evidence to back up the claim that he is real and so I cannot know for a fact that one exists, so I will reject the claim unless evidence is provided.

I've been fighting the deconversion process ever since I've started watching MrRepzion, TheAmazingAtheist, The Drunken Peasants, Thunderf00t, etc. The youtube atheist channels are the reason I ended up becoming an atheist. I fought hard to try and keep my faith, but in the end, I guess Science always wins no matter how hard you fight. This was the video that dealt the fatal blow:





My only problem, is now my dreams of wanting to become a Christian Singer Songwriter are shattered, I now believe that when my family passes, that's it. I'll never see them again, I'm too afraid to come out to my mother as an Atheist because none of my siblings ended up remaining Christian and I was her only success story, and I don't want to break her heart, and I worry my Christian girlfriend will be forced by her parents to break up with me, or she'll break up with me herself.

So, here I am, new atheist, depressed, trapped and now asking, how do you cope with all this? Thanks a bunch.

It's not easy - at least, not at first. I deconverted nearly 10 years ago, and the first few months were pretty tough.

One thing that helps is to find new friends who are also agnostic/atheist. I found meetup.com to be a good resource, just type in Secular or Skeptic as a search term and see who's in your area.

Another thing is to be aware that you can still be a singer/songwriter (I'm a musician as well) even if it's not in CCM. In fact, getting out of the Christian Ghetto is healthy for creativity.

Over time, it gets better. In fact, I am now more at peace with myself and with life in general than I ever was as a Christian. Reality is often the Road Less Traveled, but it's the only place to be, imo.

Oh, and if your depression persists, consider seeing a psychopharmacologist. Meds really can be helpful for some folks.

I feel sorry for you but also relieved that i've never had to go through what you are. Just soldier on, apparently it gets better with time.

(January 14, 2015 at 3:36 pm)IanHulett Wrote: So, here I am, new atheist, completely depressed and now I'm asking, how do you cope with all this? Thanks a bunch.

No reason to be depressed and coping is quite easy really. Think about how "awful" it was to not exist before you were born. Not much.

You are leaving a bad thing - religion is false and I'd much rather know reality than believe a comforting lie.

As for "Jesus" being a great moral teacher - meh. Anything he supposedly said was said better and earlier by others. Plagiarism I suppose is a form of flattery.

Hey there. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I can understand that some things are really difficult to come to terms with at first. There's a lot of identity problems that you're probably going through right now. That's never been easy, for anyone.

I read about some of the YouTube channels you've been watching and it sounds like they've been a bit hard-hitting for you. I'm not familiar with any of their work, but I know their reputation and many of them are known to be quite extreme and in the line of what we call 'strong atheism.' I just want you to know that this hard line of atheism, while perfectly acceptable by all atheists, isn't everyone's 'cup of tea.' Personally, I struggle to watch videos that tear religion apart to those extremes. Have you ever watched videos from 'The Atheist Voice'? He's writes a blog called The Friendly Atheist and he is very good with steering away from totally destroying religion. His videos are very, very good and might be just what you need to ease you into things a little.

Thanks for joining our community

Fendon makes a good point: Most atheists aren't claiming that there is no god, but rather that we simply don't believe in god(s). I personally go a bit further - i believe that none of the gods described in any human religion exist. But if there's a god out there somewhere, that's fine by me - it's a pretty big Universe, after all.

Hello and Welcome!
Thanks for sharing your story.

The "Thinking Atheist"'s Seth Andrews might be someone to listen and talk to. He seems to be a nice and thoughtful guy, not like those Youtube blowhards, and he was a Christian radio host when he lost his faith, so he can probably relate.

Quote:So, here I am, new atheist, depressed, trapped and now asking, how do you cope with all this? Thanks a bunch.

I find the idea liberating.

Quote:When I die, I shall be content to vanish into nothingness.... No show, however good, could conceivably be good forever. I do not believe in immortality, and have no desire for it.
— H L Mencken

An acquaintance who does hospice work said that the believers have the most problems coping with dying because they are eaten by doubt till the last minute.

I myself often have bouts of severe depression, though not even slightly connected with any gods or lack thereof (except inasmuch that if one really exists, it shall be my (after-)life's work to hunt the bastard down and wipe it out; very, very slowly). So I can understand where you might be coming from on that angle. I think I've been fortunate in my upbringing, never having felt any religious urgings even as a child. All I know from what you might call the other side of the fence is that the world without a god in it is bigger and brighter than you possibly imagined. It has its darker aspects too, of course, but they, generally speaking, often serve to define the highlights. Taken as a whole, it's what is generally known as 'life' and that's supposed to be where the fun begins.

If any of that makes sense.