Self-racism?

[Homeless Nutter]

- She was adopted because dad was a drug addict and mom was a prostitute - They didn't feed her or care for her. She was taken away from social security. To be fair her mom was gipsy but her dad was white, and he is way worse as a person compared to her mom
- Her family is friends with the biological parents and they don't have prejudices against them
- No, her ethnic background was not questioned - She looks mostly white and is socially perceived as a white person. I didn't know of her ancestry until she told me.
- She doesn't hate them in the literal meaning of the word, she is just prejudiced against those people. The reasons she points out are several - The fact her mom was a prostitute, married 7 times with different men to extort money and lived on welfare; the fact her mom didn't care for following sisters that are now living miserable lives because they didn't have the chance to be adopted; the fact most of her family lives in poor areas and has a culture that she doesn't accept and dislikes, etc.
- She was never perceived as being a romani. She looks white to me, I only know about it because she told me. Yeah she does look slightly Indian but it's pretty common in my country for people to have some mixed heritage with white heritage - It's socially acceptable. Additionally, Romani people are usually more discriminated because of how they dress and not because of how they look - She dresses according to western fashion and not with traditional Romani clothes, so she is never perceived as being Romani, people look at her as white.

OK, then. I give up. She's probably just evil. Happy now?

But seriously - why people develop personal prejudices is not always clear, however it's very common. It's obviously easier to explain why some people hate people who are different - because that way they make themselves feel validated, as a member of a "better" race, religion, culture, or whatever. But it doesn't have to be that simple. And there are plenty "practical" reasons for hating one's own people.

There are many closeted gay people - like at least 50% of catholic priests, for example - who openly condemn homosexuals, because they haven't come to term with their own sexuality and want to convince themselves, as well as everyone else, that they're actually straight. They're also probably envy openly gay people, for having the courage to live their lives the way they want to.

Historically there have been many people, with jewish ancestry, who expressed anti-Semitic opinions, in order to avoid discrimination and persecution. There's even a stereotype of a "self-hating jew".
Then there are ethnic groups which are internally way more varied and divided, than people perceive from the outside. I've been a witness to many arguments between African and Caraibian black people, who generally don't seem to have very high opinions of one another, even though to most white people they seem like one group.

And even if no one actually discriminated against your girlfriend for her ethnic background, I'm pretty sure she asks herself the question - whether she's going to be as bad a parent, as her parents were and maybe she's trying to "cut herself off" from her biological mother and her culture as much as she can - before someone else makes the connection.

I'm sorry - it's a speculation on my part, but it would make sense to me. I personally don't have a very high opinion of my own nation - for being overly catholic and glorifying alcohol, which are two things that really screwed up my childhood and of which I'm still a witness whenever I go to visit. I try not to let people know, unless necessary, where I come from, because I don't think I have enough restrain to take another stupid Polack joke and I don't want to be even remotely considered an alcoholic or - especially - catholic. I don't hate the people, but I feel much better keeping away, especially that you can't visit a polish household and not drink - it's "tradition" - and I really, really hate the stuff. (I'm fine with drugs, by the way - I didn't say it was a rational or ideologically consistent discrimination).

As someone said earlier - my "blood" is not me. I did not choose it, I don't have to like it. And I surely don't have to be "proud" of it. And if my mother was a gypsy prostitute, who couldn't take care of her children - I'd probably want to keep away from that part of my "heritage" as well. It may not be "right", but it's understandable.