New Atheist, depressed, and wondering how to cope with reality.

[goodwithoutgod]

Hey guys. I ended up deconverting from Christianity, and am now a Christian Atheist. So, now instead of seeing Jesus as the savior and son of God, I see him as a teacher of good morals and reject the existence of a God or Gods in the absence of evidence. But unlike a lot of people on YouTube, I will not claim to know that there is no God, I will only be in the position that I don't see evidence to back up the claim that he is real and so I cannot know for a fact that one exists, so I will reject the claim unless evidence is provided.

I've been fighting the deconversion process ever since I've started watching MrRepzion, TheAmazingAtheist, The Drunken Peasants, Thunderf00t, etc. The youtube atheist channels are the reason I ended up becoming an atheist. I fought hard to try and keep my faith, but in the end, I guess Science always wins no matter how hard you fight. This was the video that dealt the fatal blow:





My only problem, is now my dreams of wanting to become a Christian Singer Songwriter are shattered, I now believe that when my family passes, that's it. I'll never see them again, I'm too afraid to come out to my mother as an Atheist because none of my siblings ended up remaining Christian and I was her only success story, and I don't want to break her heart, and I worry my Christian girlfriend will be forced by her parents to break up with me, or she'll break up with me herself.

So, here I am, new atheist, depressed, trapped and now asking, how do you cope with all this? Thanks a bunch.

Recognize it is a loss, and loss is dealt with by grief, and the stages of grief are..

1) Shock and denial. As you heard your inner voice say ...this is BS..and you fought that with complete denial, making excuses, trying to convince yourself that it just had to be true...

2) Pain and guilt. You feel guilty for not believing, the stronger your faith was, the stronger the pain.

3) Anger. The anger sets in, this IS all BS, they lied to me...I have wasted so much life on this lie..

4) Depression, reflection, loneliness. The loss of your faith sets in...you feel empty, alone.....this is the stage most falter on...and some return, just for the community, the feeling of belonging, not wanting to be "one of them"..you used to shake your head at atheists...now you may be one..

5) Acceptance. The upward turn. As you adjusted to life without your faith, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized, your thoughts clearer... Your pain lessens, and your "depression" dissipates, you accept your new found freedom, logic and reason that you can apply to your life to craft conditions to make you confident, assured, happy and successful...without faith. You say to yourself with a smile..."I am an atheist".

You walk strongly down the path of knowledge, knowing you are free to be yourself, without the blindfold of faith and the stranglehold of eternal religious guilt.

Identifying the stages of grief is the key, don't resist them, don't try to speed them up, let the process flow naturally.....re-enforce your newfound wisdom with positive influences, podcasts, books, you-tube videos, embrace the processs, own it, make it yours.

Welcome to your new life....