What would it take for me to be convinced there is a god?
1. 16 monkeys must fly out of my posterior. No more, no less.
2. They must be Bonobos (yes, I know they are chimps! Work with me here...still goddamn monkeys!)
3. They must speak to me in Mandarin, and I will understand them. I don't currently speak Mandarin, but would like to pick it up if not too much to ask.
4. They will then prepare me the most tasty meal EVER conceived! EVER! And ye will know it by its tastiness. It will be completely satisfying and contain zero calories. Summer is coming and I want to look good in me trunks.
5. Said monkeys/Bonobos will serve me and my kind as chefs, valets, maids and chauffeurs for a period of not less than 20 years. Until death do us part.
God -- complete the above, and you done got yourself a belieber!
1. 16 monkeys must fly out of my posterior. No more, no less.
2. They must be Bonobos (yes, I know they are chimps! Work with me here...still goddamn monkeys!)
3. They must speak to me in Mandarin, and I will understand them. I don't currently speak Mandarin, but would like to pick it up if not too much to ask.
4. They will then prepare me the most tasty meal EVER conceived! EVER! And ye will know it by its tastiness. It will be completely satisfying and contain zero calories. Summer is coming and I want to look good in me trunks.
5. Said monkeys/Bonobos will serve me and my kind as chefs, valets, maids and chauffeurs for a period of not less than 20 years. Until death do us part.
God -- complete the above, and you done got yourself a belieber!
