I don't know what I have, I just constantly feel a deep existential vacuum and unhappiness. Also, I feel apathy towards most things and it's been getting worse lately. The last time I felt like this was when I was 18 years old, now I'm 21. I can't get help because treatments are expensive and my parents think depression is a scam. I don't know what to do. I try to deal with it. I don't know for how long I can hold on.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you