(May 27, 2015 at 7:27 pm)Saxmoof Wrote: Wow, over two decades for three of you, i haven't heard of many people who've had mental illnesses for longer than me, i'm struggling to come to terms with the thought that I might never be back to 100%. You all say you're managing it, does that mean you're not fully recovered and if so what are you unable to do that you would be if you were? Is your illness a constant pervasive feeling that you've managed to lessen or does it come in episodes that you've managed to decrease the incidence/severity of?
Those are all really good questions. I don't know what 'back to 100%' even would look like, tbh - the memories of what 'normal' is have long since faded.
With chronic MI, I'm not sure that 'full recovery' is even a thing. I have to manage or avoid things that are triggers for me (and as I've learned more on the managing end, avoidance becomes less of a thing). I remain mindful of my mood, and have learned to recognize incipient episodes early and prevent them before they become unmanageable. Earlier this week, my girlfriend and I both noticed that I was not sleeping well, and I was becoming uncharacteristically irritable, both of which are early warning signs for an episode of mania for me, but simply being aware of it and using the skills I've learned, I was able to keep it in check.
So yeah, it's still there, but it's managed and doesn't rule me any longer.
Everybody is a bit different though, with varying capacity to learn and employ skills, as well as tolerance of and success with medications. I don't take meds any longer, except the occasional benzo when I have an unmanageable anxiety episode or really need to sleep. Not taking meds is not for everyone, though.
