The Mental Illness Thread

[Angrboda]

I don't know that my illness is under control. Each year seems to be throwing me a new set of obstacles to cope with. This past year it's been constant low grade depression. For over half a year, when I was home, I was lying in bed. That may have been a consequence of the medication I'm on, but then it might not have been. That's one of the most frustrating parts of dealing with mental illness, not knowing if what you're doing to manage it is even going to be effective.

I am someone who probably cannot live without medication. My thinking is really distorted when I'm not on anti-psychotics, so they are probably a permanent part of my life from here on out. I don't mind that aspect as my thinking is much improved on the medication. Before, I struggled with satisfying my crazy thinking instead of managing my depressions. Hopefully with that distraction gone, I'll be able to focus on confronting my depression more directly. I've already started by noting that if I am active one day, that improves my functioning in the days that follow. The next step is to make that a regular part of my life with daily exercise. That's something I couldn't even seriously contemplate when I was suicidal all the time and thinking crazy. The medication has opened up new avenues of coping. I only wish I'd started the medication sooner.