Are Married Men "Husbands?" How About a New Term for a New Relationship?

[brewer]

A friend of mine who is male, gay, and married refers to his husband. I don't see the issue, but you may have a point.

They are not married. Marriage is between one man and a woman. Their piece of paper can say what it likes, it is not a marriage.

Please don't start again, not sure my fragile brain can take it.

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Not sure if this is the right forum for this. But...


I am a woman and (gee, Rhonda, we never would have guess. Thanks for the heads up) I don't like the word "husband. I can't help wondering if it has an etymological connection to the word "husbandry."

Think about it. Until relatively recently, women were considered the property of their husbands. A woman without a husband was like a cow without a cowboy. From its inception marriage has been about men doing the tasks of husbandry—caring for and managing their wives.
e are in a new era now. Isn't it kind of retro to enter this new epoch with a term that speaks of inequality in the relationship?

What are your thoughts on wife?

From the net:

Old English wif (neuter) "woman, female, lady," also, but not especially, "wife," from Proto-Germanic *wiban (cognates: Old Saxon, Old Frisian wif, Old Norse vif, Danish and Swedish viv, Middle Dutch, Dutch wijf, Old High German wib, German Weib), of uncertain origin, not found in Gothic.

Apparently felt as inadequate in its basic sense, leading to the more distinctive formation wifman (source of woman). Dutch wijf now means, in slang, "girl, babe," having softened somewhat from earlier sense of "bitch." German cognate Weib also tends to be slighting or derogatory and has been displaced by Frau.

The more usual Indo-European word is represented in English by queen/quean. Words for "woman" also double for "wife" in some languages. Some proposed PIE roots for wife include *weip- "to twist, turn, wrap," perhaps with sense of "veiled person" (see vibrate); and more recently *ghwibh-, a proposed root meaning "shame," also "pudenda," but the only examples of it would be the Germanic words and Tocharian (a lost IE language of central Asia) kwipe, kip "female pudenda."

The modern sense of "female spouse" began as a specialized sense in Old English; the general sense of "woman" is preserved in midwife, old wives' tale, etc. Middle English sense of "mistress of a household" survives in housewife; and the later restricted sense of "tradeswoman of humble rank" in fishwife. By 1883 as "passive partner in a homosexual couple." Wife-swapping is attested from 1954.

Equally disturbing.