(July 9, 2015 at 1:31 am)Salacious B. Crumb Wrote: I don’t understand marriage, period. I never have. I don’t understand why people would want the government in their lives in that way. Why do people want all these legal contracts between themselves? Isn’t a relationship supposed to be something out of love, and not a contract forcing people to stay together that don’t actually want to be together anymore? If two or more people want to be together, then let them. If people don’t want to be together, then don’t have a relationship with each other. I’d rather be happy than miserable. I’d rather be in a real relationship with someone, than to be under a contract, that basically keeps us tied down together in an unnatural way.
If you’re happily married, good for you. I have no problem at all with that, but I’ve seen a few divorces in my life, and they aren’t pretty. It should be a clean split, in my opinion. Not some ongoing split that takes years to settle. Why do you want the government involved in your relationship? Have a mock marriage or something, make your own promises to each other. If you want to have a party to signify that you want to be together with each other for life, than go for it, but why a contract? ..especially when 50% of marriages end in divorce. I don’t think we’re meant to be monogamous. About 3-5% of mammals on the planet are monogamous, it doesn’t seem natural.
Marriage is a legal contract. If one wants the contract, then it makes sense to get married. If one does not want the contract, then it does not.
If anyone is unsure whether they want such a contract or not, I recommend not getting married until and unless one is reasonably certain one wants it.
I am in the U.S., so what I am about to say may or may not apply to marriage where you are, but very likely some of it does. Now, since I am married, if I am in the hospital, my wife can visit me. She is legally now family. If she were just a friend, then on those occasions when hospitals only allow visits from family, she could not visit me. Also, in the event that I am incapacitated, she can direct the doctors to pull the plug as soon at it is legal to do so (which is what I want her to tell them). If she were not my wife, what she said about it would mean nothing and have no effect on anything that is done (unless there was some special contract made, but then the doctors would have to realize it is binding before they would act on it, whereas her being my wife, they will recognize that she does legally have some say in what goes on). It also affects taxes, retirement benefits, inheritance, and probably some other financial things that I am presently not thinking of. Oh yeah, in some states in the U.S., but not all of them, one is financially liable for all debts of one's spouse. (In the other states, one is liable for only some debts, and for the details, you will want to search online or consult with an attorney in the relevant jurisdiction.) There are also laws about children, that any children produced while we are married are legally both mine and hers (that is, any children she has while we are married). I have probably omitted several other aspects of this, though the details (and this makes it a very interesting contract) vary according to where one lives.
So the upshot is, there is a bundle of rights and responsibilities of marriage that have a great deal of legal significance in many situations. So if one wants that bundle of rights and responsibilities, then one will want to get married, and if one does not want them, then one will not want to get married.
There is also various symbolism that one may or may not like, and there are social implications (i.e., many people will treat you slightly differently). That is less important than things that the force of law brings to the above considerations.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
