[Serious] What Is The Hardest Thing You’ve Ever Done?

[Angrboda]

I guess the hardest thing in my life was the panic attacks that I suffered for several years. From what I understand, panic attacks typically don't last for more than 30 minutes. Mine were commonly an hour or more. I remember one night when the panic came upon me, I felt that if I just started walking and kept walking, that I could survive the panic, and that if I stopped walking, the panic would take me over and I would go insane. I walked for six hours before I finally could just not go any further and sat down in Menards, expecting to disappear inside myself and go insane. But I didn't go insane.

I have trouble thinking of any of the stuff that's happened to me as hard because it has never seemed that there ever was a choice. That whatever I went through, there was no point at which simply not doing what I had to do was an option. And so none of it feels in that sense remarkable to me. Because I never really voluntarily chose to do something hard.