Feeling pretty gutted

[robvalue]

I'm proud of you MTL for making the brave decision to cut her out

When someone is so relentlessly nasty to you, they give you no option. You shouldn't have to suffer because they can't be reasonable.

The way I look at things, I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt initially. I assume they are worthy of my full respect, and I treat them as such. If someone shows me that they are in fact not worthy of this, then I relegate them to my minimum package. I don't hurt them, and I am polite to them. But that is all they get, until such time as they show they are worthy again. It sounds like your sister has repeatedly demonstrated she is not worthy of anything more than minimum respect from you. She doesn't deserve any further effort on your part, and it's not fair that you have to suffer by making that effort and having it thrown in your face over and over. Even if you can't physically remove someone entirely from your life, you can achieve the state of mind where you don't care about anything they say or do anymore. That's what I meant by emotionally disconnecting from them, it's how my relationship is with most of my family now. I know that's not an easy thing to do, but I believe it is the solution in these situations. You can't change them, you can only change how you react to them.