(March 16, 2019 at 4:34 pm)Fleeing Jesus Wrote: Hey, everyone. I thought I’d ask for some help here.
I was raised Christian but don’t believe in god anymore. I think it’s all nonsense. We’re on this pale blue dot alone. I believe in science and reason.
The problem is my atheism is only at 99%. There’s 1% of me that still thinks I could be wrong and that I’m going to hell for being a bad person. I’m also afraid of the idea of endless life, mostly because I struggle with anxiety and the idea of eternal anxiety in heaven is my idea of hell.
Can anyone help me unhinge the last 1% so that I’m not afraid of heaven and hell anymore? It would mean the world to me. I’d like to not have this hang over me for the rest of my life.
- Fleeing Jesus
It's sad and unforgivable that people would put fear into you in that way. It's not fair, it's counterproductive, and you don't deserve it.
I don't know what flavor of Christianity you were raised with. I can say, though, that not even all Christians would describe a heaven and hell in the way you've heard.
Just as an example, Dante makes it clear that a heaven in which you had anxiety is not possible. It goes against the definition of heaven. So the unthinking Christians who taught you this are not being rational, even within the parameters of their own religion.
William Blake, who was deeply Christian in all things, says that we are currently in hell now. It is the perceptual state we have (not a post-death punishment) in which we don't yet see the world clearly. So there is another Christian, and a genius, who would offer you hope. The anxiety you now have is part of the low point. He says God would never punish you by putting you at a lower level.
So for what it's worth, even these very smart Christians would tell you that your fears can be left behind.