Anxiety/Depression/Mental Illness Support

[Faith No More]

I am taking valporate mood stabilizers and olanzapine which is both an anti-psychotic and a mood stabilizer.

I've been really really high in mood in the past - I've been manic and so now whenever I feel happy it feels so dull by comparison. I used to do something really dull like drink some orange squash with water and that was enough to make me feel good, now I do what I love the most and it feels dull by comparision.

So let me see if I understand. You used to have really high moods, but the meds you are taking have kept them under control. Now you feel that without the highs, everything seems dull. Is that it?

[Edwardo Piet]

Pretty much yes.

[frankiej]

Well, it sounds like you've gone and got yourself a bad case of the blues, son.

You should sing that shit out of ya

[Faith No More]

what about taking a trip to somewhere that you've enjoyed before or would like to go. Get away from the mundane in your life, and spends some time free of responsibility and such.

[Edwardo Piet]

Well that's where we come to more of my problems.

I have really bad visual memory and four second memory and I also have a lack of confidence and perhaps anxiety issues and this all makes it very difficult for me to find my way about outside the house on my own. I need people to show me around several times before I can go somewhere, and if it's far away I might not be ready to go there at all on my own....YET.

Furthermore, I never experienced my highs outdoors because I was always stuck in the house playing video games. I've tried to get the same highs from playing the same video games but I don't enjoy them anymore. I can't recapture my past and I miss my past.

[Darwinian]

Hi Eve, whatever the state of your mind, it's great to see it back on these forums again

[Faith No More]

So what have you been doing so far to keep things from being dull?

[Edwardo Piet]

Not much. Sitting around thinking and feeling too anxious to do something. I have been giving up hope by thinking that I'm not going to enjoy myself doing things so why bother doing anything.

Well, until the last week or so that is. I've been trying to be more active even more recently and my mood is a little better but it still seems barely worth bothering doing anything.

[Faith No More]

Keep doing whatever you did last week and stick with it. You seem to be at that point when rather fight the issues, you could just wallow in the dullness. Being proactive in treatment is important, but it can take a long time. It's encouraging that you did get some results from what you've done, but I know how hard it is to keep from quitting.

Sorry, I've gotta go, but if you wish to continue a conversation, pm me.

[Rhizomorph13]

Man, Evie! It is great to see you back in action. I'm bummed to hear about your personal struggles and hope everything gets better. It sounds like you might be on too much meds. If you're affect is too low you should relay that to your phychiatrist and revisit your meds. The planet would be worse of if you leave it though so stay supervised and take it easy. The only thing that doesn't change about reality is that change is inevitable.

Welcome back.