Why Computers are Like Men
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
4. They're supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
5. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
7. They can help you out with a lot of things.
8. Size does matter.
9. They're good at following instructions.
10. If you look around, you may realize that there's always a better model just around the corner.
Why Computers are Like Women
1. No one but the creator understands their internal logic.
2. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
3. Miss a period and they go wild.
4. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
5. They make you take out the garbage.
6. Protection and security are very important for them.
7. Sometimes they can get out of control.
8. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in their long-term memory for later retrieval.
9. Sometimes you just don't want to get your eyes off them.
10. Appearance matters.
Why the E-mail is Like a Male Reproductive Organ
1. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.
2. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.
3. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today, especially the young ones, use it for fun and pleasure.
4. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.
5. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it (e-mail envy).
6. It becomes most active when you're flirting.
7. If you don't apply the appropriate measures, it can spread viruses.
8. Users need to protect it's privacy.
9. It may require more than a single try to be able to successfully transmit your message to the other side.
10. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
_______________________________
Obviously, the statements above are not necessarily true because they are only jokes, but they are still funny nonetheless.
Also, you can post more computer jokes in this thread if you know or find any others that you like.
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
4. They're supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
5. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
7. They can help you out with a lot of things.
8. Size does matter.
9. They're good at following instructions.
10. If you look around, you may realize that there's always a better model just around the corner.
Why Computers are Like Women
1. No one but the creator understands their internal logic.
2. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
3. Miss a period and they go wild.
4. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
5. They make you take out the garbage.
6. Protection and security are very important for them.
7. Sometimes they can get out of control.
8. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in their long-term memory for later retrieval.
9. Sometimes you just don't want to get your eyes off them.
10. Appearance matters.
Why the E-mail is Like a Male Reproductive Organ
1. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.
2. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.
3. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today, especially the young ones, use it for fun and pleasure.
4. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.
5. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it (e-mail envy).
6. It becomes most active when you're flirting.
7. If you don't apply the appropriate measures, it can spread viruses.
8. Users need to protect it's privacy.
9. It may require more than a single try to be able to successfully transmit your message to the other side.
10. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
_______________________________
Obviously, the statements above are not necessarily true because they are only jokes, but they are still funny nonetheless.
Also, you can post more computer jokes in this thread if you know or find any others that you like.
