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ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
#1
ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
Hey all. First, a little history: I grew up in a Christian household, and I was fairly religious. In 8th grade a sin plagued me until 10th grade, when I finally asked God to remove my faith because I felt unworthy of it. Not two weeks later did I read in the Bible about “the Prophet”, or what I thought was Muhammad. This began a downward spiral where I began researching Islam, then evolution, then atheism…eventually I admitted to myself that I was an atheist and cried myself to sleep. Fast forward a couple years. In my freshman year of college I remember “praying” blindly to a God I desperately hoped was there, claiming I would do anything if He would only give me a faith that could withstand the intellectual rigors of logic and critical thinking. A year later, I read a book about meditation, instantly took to it and begin researching and practicing Buddhism. Soon enough I’d tasted and read enough to realize the accuracy of the Buddha’s teachings, as least regarding the nature of the mind. At one point in my practice, I drank some coffee, and the chemical interaction allowed me to experience one of the pillars of Buddhism, No-self. I entered the Stream. This is the most profound experience of my life—completely ineffable. About one year later, I began to notice time synchronicities—for example, I would enter my dorm room at exactly the same time day after day. Also, I was into spirituality, and read a thread on a popular site about the significance and meaning of numbers in people’s lives. Soon enough these numbers start appearing on digital clocks and correspond to what I’m doing i.e. if what I’m doing is approved of by “the universe” or disapproved of. Sounds hokey, I know, but it was real. Later on, I had a unique day—I experienced three overt coincidences, where even the people in the situation with me were like “wow, this is really coincidental!” After this my atheism began to fall apart. Time took on more and more meaning, where eventually I could communicate to “the universe” by asking a question, and the digital clock would change the instant I asked it, signaling “yes” or “no” depending on the number. Soon enough I began delving into Christianity again, and eventually put all my eggs into the Christian basket…long story short, became a Christian again, with Buddhist information.
What this means now: the Lord still communicates with me through time—I spent roughly six hours praying and discerning the meaning of numbers 1-60 so that I would know exactly what He’s thinking just by looking at my digital watch—but He also communicates directly with me through clicks in my ears, blips of light in my field of vision, and, rarely, direct speech. And no, I'm not schizophrenic! I can also ask Him a question, open the Bible blindly, and the first line I read will pertain to the answer. All of these give me direct, immediate access to the thoughts of Jesus and the Father. Now, they don’t tell me everything—in fact, to most of my deeper questions they won’t answer this way, but require me to pray—but it is certainly a unique experience. He even forbids me from discussing it with other Christians—ironically it’s only on an atheist website that my gifts and personal history with Him can be discussed.
Now…what questions do you have for me about my faith, my history, my experience of the Spirit, Jesus, or Father? Also, my spiritual gift if being a prophet, so feel free to ask about that too. …don’t ask really deep questions, like why people suffer—the Lord told me that one requires a ton of prayer!
Cheers!
Telsa
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#2
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
How dare you use Tesla's name!!

You need psychiatric help I am thinking. You sound schizophrenic.
[Image: 529764_346668338713200_266200396759995_1...1390_n.jpg]
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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#3
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
No one prayed hard enough for an answer to the problem of evil huh... what have Christians been doing all these years.

Welcome anyway, but anecdotes and OCD do not a prophet make.

My prophetic vision is that God will not allow your claims to be verified independently in a falsifiable manner beyond personal anecdotes about coincidence.
How are my prophecy skills shaping up?
Self-authenticating private evidence is useless, because it is indistinguishable from the illusion of it. ― Kel, Kelosophy Blog

If you’re going to watch tele, you should watch Scooby Doo. That show was so cool because every time there’s a church with a ghoul, or a ghost in a school. They looked beneath the mask and what was inside?
The f**king janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide. Throughout history every mystery. Ever solved has turned out to be. Not Magic.
― Tim Minchin, Storm
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#4
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
(March 29, 2012 at 5:59 am)Telsa Wrote: the Lord still communicates with me through time—I spent roughly six hours praying and discerning the meaning of numbers 1-60 so that I would know exactly what He’s thinking just by looking at my digital watch—but He also communicates directly with me through clicks in my ears, blips of light in my field of vision, and, rarely, direct speech

[Image: 969638-cool_story__bro_super.jpg]
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#5
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
Holy fucking jesus on a popsicle stick!!!!

How do these people find us for fucks sake?????


BTW, Hi to you and your imaginary friend.

Though I'd rather have Hobbes.
[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
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#6
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
(March 29, 2012 at 5:59 am)Telsa Wrote: Now…what questions do you have for me about my faith, my history, my experience of the Spirit, Jesus, or Father?

Sure. I've got some questions.

1.) Why would you think we give a fuck?
2.) Are you really as big of an ego-maniacal jerkwad as you seem?

Quote:Also, my spiritual gift if being a prophet, so feel free to ask about that too. …don’t ask really deep questions, like why people suffer—the Lord told me that one requires a ton of prayer!
Cheers!
Telsa

Oop! Never mind on that second question. I've got that figured out. Wink

Next time you talk to your buddy Jesus, could you kindly ask him to not eat my brain. I know a zombie god has to eat too, it's just.. I rather like my brain, and it seems he's gotten to enough brains already.

42

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#7
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
[Image: Calm+Down+Hobbes.jpg]
[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
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#8
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
When I admitted to myself that I was an atheist, I - went on with my life. Shedding that final load of mild deism was nothing significant.


Guys, this one has to be a Poe. I see repeated use of the Texas Sharpshooter fallacy and the introduction of a completely new and hitherto unknown one - argumentum ad numerologicium (argument by numerology).
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#9
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
Fucking A! He's a bibliomancer, for the love of shit! This has just got to be a joke. If it's not... I laughed anyway.
42

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#10
RE: ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here
Take the next step Telsa. Read the bible and you will be an atheist in no time again. By reading your story, I can deduce you are a deist, not a Christian.
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