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Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Athiests make me laugh.
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate yours! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Theists make me cry ... you waste your fucking brains (god given or otherwise) on a pathetic tale that's nothing but myth and then come into our forum and cut & paste something that has ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL do do with being an atheist.
Kyu
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 3:30 pm
(This post was last modified: May 25, 2009 at 3:34 pm by leo-rcc.)
It's not even original. this story is a cut and paste you can find on "fundies say the darnedest things" in the top 100 fundies quotes in christian chatrooms.
Here's a few doozies:
# So you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? I think it would be worse. I know if I didn’t fear god’s judgement I would have killed many many times.
# Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.
# Satan loves homosexuals.. And will usually set them up with good careers in something Satan is in control of i.e.. Entertainment.. any form of the Media.. Satan wants them to grow.. The more homosexuals there are the more souls Satan gets to join in a Furnace of Fire..
# “Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic.”
# Don’t you know that evolution is basically a racist concept? Some evolutionists still teach that white people evolved from “negroes” who evolved from apes– Meaning “white people are more evolved!”
Best regards,
Leo van Miert
Horsepower is how hard you hit the wall --Torque is how far you take the wall with you
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 3:36 pm
(May 25, 2009 at 3:15 pm)JesusLovesUs Wrote: Athiests make me laugh.
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate yours! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
Who ever did actually write this truly lacks common sense and any type of morality. If fear-mongering cult followers, such as yourself, ever wonder why non-believers are finally speaking out and are sounding upset while doing so, just re-read the dribble you have posted on this forum.
It's people like you that need to start taking responsibility for your own actions, instead of putting the blame on everything but yourself. I don't have to know you personally, people like you come a dime a dozen and your post here, not only, proves my point, but reflects your ignorance all in the same...
Wake up and try a bit of reality for once in your life...
Intelligence is the only true moral guide...
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 4:11 pm
*wipes eyes (but not literally)* I enjoy a good laugh 
That was retarded lol.
EvF
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 5:33 pm
(This post was last modified: May 25, 2009 at 5:37 pm by lrh9.)
1) What's wrong with having sex with a hooker as long as... 1) She's clean. 1a) You're clean. 2) You're using protection. 3) You treat her well. 4) You pay her well. 5) You have sex well.?
2) Smoking weed without evaluating and controlling it is just as unintelligent as believing you shouldn't smoke weed because you believe some immaterial being wants you to not smoke weed.
3) If the mom is still having unwanted pregnancies because she is too stupid to use birth control, someone needs to force that ***** to get her tubes tied.
4) There are plenty of people who 1) Engage in homosexual activities. 2) Watch homosexual activities. and are good people. It doesn't bother me what people do in the privacy of their homes. 1) They don't try to force it on me unlike SOME people do with SOME things. 2) They don't look down on me for not joining in unlike SOME people do with SOME things. 3) They don't threaten me unlike SOME people with SOME things.
5) I do hold the position that any theist who proselytizes should be killed, but I don't favor torture.
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 5:50 pm
I found that a little disgusting. As in the sense of the fact that some theists actualy believe in that dribble.
Comments like these "So you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? I think it would be worse. I know if I didn’t fear god’s judgement I would have killed many many times."
Kinda proves that we are far more mature and moral than what they are. If they rely on an imaginary friend warning them of hell in order to be moral is actually saying they have no morality in the first place.
I have an ethical standard. I have that standard by being able to understand and comprehend other people's feelings and pain. I don't require a god (imaginary friend) to have morality and so by being able to have a moral standard through understanding makes me a far better person than any theist that relies on fear through god.
His post shows a serious lack of understanding.
Anyone who gains morality through fear alone has no morality.
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan
Mankind's intelligence walks hand in hand with it's stupidity.
Being an atheist says nothing about your overall intelligence, it just means you don't believe in god. Atheists can be as bright as any scientist and as stupid as any creationist.
You never really know just how stupid someone is, until you've argued with them.
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 6:34 pm
(May 25, 2009 at 5:50 pm)Ace Wrote: I have an ethical standard. I have that standard by being able to understand and comprehend other people's feelings and pain. I don't require a god (imaginary friend) to have morality and so by being able to have a moral standard through understanding makes me a far better person than any theist that relies on fear through god.
Anyone who gains morality through fear alone has no morality.
Ramen.
That was awesome. I had to quote it - quite poetic I think.
I'm with you there of course 
EvF
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 6:59 pm
(May 25, 2009 at 5:50 pm)Ace Wrote: I found that a little disgusting. As in the sense of the fact that some theists actualy believe in that dribble.
Comments like these "So you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? I think it would be worse. I know if I didn’t fear god’s judgement I would have killed many many times."
Kinda proves that we are far more mature and moral than what they are.
You need to be very careful with claiming moral high ground based on what a few nutjobs have said on a forum. These people are no more or less moral than us, they just think they get their morals elsewhere. One swoop of Euthyphro's dilemma should solve that.
Ace Wrote:His post shows a serious lack of understanding.
Anyone who gains morality through fear alone has no morality.
This I totally agree with.
Now if you will excuse me I have some alcohol to drink and porn to watch. 
Best regards,
Leo van Miert
Horsepower is how hard you hit the wall --Torque is how far you take the wall with you
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RE: Athiests make me laugh
May 25, 2009 at 7:59 pm
BWAHAHAHAHA! Tell me we're saving this post somewhere, fastest way to get banned from an atheist forum right there, it's like he tried his best to his every single misconception.
Ok own up, which one of us made a second account for some lulz?
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