My 'born again' story. Theological explanation?

[Minimalist]

God won't help you find a girl.

If you're catholic he apparently will help you find an altar boy.

[The Grand Nudger]

Let me get this straight, you told a female that the two of you being together was somehow a part of gods plan. That's gotta register pretty damned high on the feminine gtfo meter......

The next time you get to thinking that a god wants you to be with any given girl, just run on the assumption that you're probably mistaken about that, regardless of whether or not any god exists. Let me just add here, that any sweet little thing that swallows that kind of line is probably going to end up straddling you roundabouts 3am in the not so distant future holding your dismembered...member, screaming "You know why!"

(a theological explanation would be that god is most likely less invested in where you stick it than you imagined him to be. I don't recall any scriptures to the effect of "Whatsoever Dick believeth in me will be granted Jane")

[Epimethean]

The way to tell if a girl likes you is if she outright tells you, "Hey, I like you enough to try anal."

[FallentoReason]

I don't know if you guys have ever been Christian, but we've got ourselves some thick answers here. Try again?

[Aiza]

Thank you for the lovely story, I had a similar experience rather recently. Sorry to hear about your "religious views".

I'm not quite sure what your question is--I don't think you need blame yourself theologically or otherwise. I think her own words did the explanation just fine: it wasn't her time yet, but another girl is out there for you.

[Epimethean]

Too many of us have been religious or exposed to religion early on to possibly give you the magical response you were seeking. "Thick" is an adjective many of us reserve for rationalizations which include divine interventions to account for the results of biology, chemistry and social dynamics.

BTW, my comment was factually accurate in the post above. If a girl takes you anally, she thinks you're pretty awesome. Or she's drunk-and then you can go biblical on her motivations.

[The Grand Nudger]

What's thick about "god doesn't give a shit were you stick it?" Does that seem so far fetched? Would you imagine that the lord of the cosmos spent his time playing matchmaker?

[Epimethean]

They imagine the big goofus doing everything else, so why not playing host to the dating game, too, eh?