How to not be desperate for a gf?

[Minimalist]

Sometimes....in the long run....it is cheaper to rent than to buy.

[Aegrus]

Hoping to resume college in the fall.

And the thing is I think girls can sense my desperation which makes things awkard. So focusing on establishing myself mentally.

They can. They're like sharks. But unlike Sharks, your emotional blood repels instead of attracts them. I feel for you, man.

---

Sometimes....in the long run....it is cheaper to rent than to buy.

Especially if your former purchase divorces you and sues you for child support.

[The Grand Nudger]

They don't have to sue for child support anymore. It's on the states SOP now. Child support hearings are scheduled by default.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Nothing wrong with wanting a girlfriend per se,but -------------------------------

If the desire becomes a pervasive obsession, it can colour your whole life in a self destructive way; a person may see themselves 'less than' without a partner. There is a vast difference between a desire and a need. Nobody NEEDS a girlfriend/boyfriend to be 'complete'. Sadly,in our culture,a great many people of both sexes seem to define themselves by their relationships.

I was 31 when I got married. Between the ages of 20 and 29,I had about a dozen girlfriends,and three serious relationships. (even engaged once) my marriage ended in 1991. Since then I have had ONE girlfriend.Currently not looking.

What I actually did to get a girlfriend,and this always worked for me: I call it 'the Zen approach' IE I dropped the matter, stopped thinking and worrying about it, ,but still had an active social life.Someone always turned up when least expected.

HOW does this work? Not sure,but I have a theory; I think the kind of girls in whom I have always been interested can spot 'the try hard',the needy and the desperate at 50 paces.. If I'm relaxed,not anxious, a casual social meeting stays that way. She sees more of me,and less of my neuroses,if that makes sense.

[Neo-Scholastic]

It's called your right hand.

[Annik]

You'll get more girls if you pretend to be confident!

[Cinjin]

Above all, be yourself.

Sounds like being himself isn't getting him anywhere. Watch the movie Hitch. It's a bit hokey but there actually is some really good advice in there for the dating impaired.

And the thing is I think girls can sense my desperation which makes things awkward.

You think they can sense it?? Man, women can smell the stink of desperation from a mile away. Hell, I can smell it on you, and I'm reading this on a computer screen. You want a girlfriend, you need to dial it WAAAY back. I mean WAAAAAAAAAAYY back.

You don't have to look like George Clooney - don't ever worry about that. You DO however have to act like George Clooney. Confident, in charge, dressed for the occasion (NOT overdressed), and lightly whimsical. Don't try to be a god damn comedian either. No woman likes schtick.

oh and remember,
If you do manage to meet and start talking to a girl. NEVER EVER EVER force a conversation. If it's going badly, walk away.


There's some start-up tips for you. But seriously .... lose the desperation for sure.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

You'll get more girls if you pretend to be confident!

Especially if you can fake sincerity.

---

It's called your right hand.

Not for me,I'm ambidextrous. (with food too)

[Shell B]

Actually, some women like a man who is nervous or awkward. It's flattering. If I'm making a guy nervous, I know he's really into me or he's gotten to know me pretty well.

Honestly, though, totally be yourself. It sure as hell beats trying to pretend you are someone you're not. If you like Legos, play with them. If you eat cereal with a fork, do it. In other words, don't cover up your quirks. The best people in my life love the worst in me. My best friend thinks it is hilarious that I do "The Randall." My mother calls me Sheldon, partly because my name is Shelly and that's what Sheldon's mom calls him, but partly because she does not care that I am a socially awkward nerd. Everyone in my family laughs because I talk in my sleep. All of these could be considered bad things. The best people disagree. It will prove true for you too.

[kılıç_mehmet]

I'm 23 and have gotten so desperate its not even funny. Any semi attractive girl could ask me out and id say yes. Met some chic on fb and she was all into how aliens from space are taking over, and I was googling alien info trying to know more.

But I just want to not be desperate. I don't want to think of girls every morning and I don't want to see myself praying daily for a girlfriend.

Been working on my self esteem. And being my own person. But every morning I wake up thinking ill be forever alone and everyone has a girl but me.

I do the right things, I stay active, eat healthy, work out, I practice meditation and living from moment to moment...but I can't stop wanting a gf. I'm even in therapy and he says to do all the things I do. But I still can't stop wanting a gf.

What should I do?

Come here: krautchan.net/int
My personal advice?
First and foremost of all, never, ever listen to a girl for relationship advice.
Just follow the routine. It almost always works, you just need to shuffle through the available people.
If you are, really really desperate for a girlfriend, I can send you one. Shipping costs include flight ticket, and bare minimum living conditions, such as litres of vodka.