Atheist and ex-gay?

[frankiej]

I think your standards are too high, man.

And people have a good reason to be angry at the things you have been saying.

[The Grand Nudger]

It still seems a hell of a lot easier to be straight, though.

The grass is always greener eh?

[Kayenneh]

I think I'm just bitter because most people reject me and mock me and hate me.

It's hard to like someone who hates himself.

But take a look at what you did, instead of greeting us with a smile here, you went on a full blown rant about how much you hate yourself, gays etc. etc. You can't know how people will react to you, but by instantly going for the angry, wounded and loathing persona, is it no wonder that no one here seemed to take to you? You pissed in your own boot, you just met a new group of people and you had the best chance in the world to make a positive impact, but you didn't. It's not about how we perceive you, it's about how you perceive yourself.

The only ones who ever asked me out or liked me were the ugly desperate ones.

Do appearances mean that much to you? For granted, beauty is a virtue to be treasured like anything else, but I'm sorry to say that you come across as a bit shallow.

[jonb]

Thanks for being a prick! I was dying for someone to verbally assault.

You seem very angry. People say that I have emotional, mood, and anger issues. I feel like yelling at people a lot too.

Anyway I did think about my OP a bit and I realize that although it may seem true, I think I'm just bitter because most people reject me and mock me and hate me. Most gay men do too. The only ones who ever asked me out or liked me were the ugly desperate ones. It just makes me mad that I could never fit in or be considered cool by anyone. I've been told that I'm "projecting my self-hatred" onto everyone else. Maybe so, but I wouldn't have that self-hatred if everyone wasn't so mean to me to begin with.

It still seems a hell of a lot easier to be straight, though. I always feel paranoid now. That I'm too feminine, that it's too obvious that I'm gay, that I'm hiding something, and I can't really help it. I don't even want to talk to anyone anymore or go out in public.

I'm 19, I turn 20 in two months.

Why did you get the abuse? Could it be because you projected your anger onto others? Life is frightening, there are no guarantees. You are just like the rest of us, the problems might vary, but we all have them. You can blame, and protest, or you can sort through them. The problems I have I am not anywhere near solving, but I know they are not anybodies fault, and they will not be solved by hiding either myself or the problems. Get out and start living.

[Creed of Heresy]

OPs like this one make my sensibilities hurt.

[DeistPaladin]

There is a sliver of the OP that, once removed from the context of the rest of the post, I had sympathy for.

Less chance of finding love, obviously.

That has to be a tough aspect to being gay: there's a smaller pond to fish in when looking for that significant other.

I remember how difficult it was at times during my single years once I got out of school. You name it, I did it. Personal ads, bars, singles' mixers, joining clubs of various kinds, not one but two dating services, asking friends and family to fix me up, etc. It still always felt like I was scraping the bottom of an empty barrel. I could tell you my share of dating horror stories, from the one who stood me up and couldn't understand why she needed to apologize to my first fiance who didn't want to wear the engagement ring in front of her family for fear of upsetting her mother. Eventually, I started going overseas, an option also not open to gays. I kinda wish I'd discovered my bisexuality sooner as it would have opened up more possible options.

I finally did meet that special someone online. She lived in California and we were just online friends for years. Things sparked when we finally met in person. Relationships that start as friendships seem to work the best, from what I understand. In any event, she could tell her share of frustrations and dating horror stories as well, some of which made mine seem mild in comparison.

Bottom line is that being single once you're out of school can be tough for either gender. I can only imagine the problem is magnified for gays since they have a much smaller population to draw upon.

As for the rest of the OP, fix up the problems with yourself first before you can ever be ready for a relationship with anyone else of either gender. Even if you could magically make yourself straight, your problems would still be with you. What you need to change about yourself is that part about you being a misanthrope. As long as you carry around all that anger, whatever the source may be, you won't be fit for any relationship with anyone. Get some real therapy.

[Napoléon]

And for the guy(s) who said they wished they were gay- do not ever fucking say that. Ever. Being born like this is a fucking curse.

Fuck you.

Do not dare tell me that the way I was born is a fucking curse. Do not dare tell the millions of homosexuals in this world the same thing either.

You may be too weak and pathetic to accept what you are, but it gives you no right to say something so ridiculously discriminatory, vulgar and down right insulting.


I'm surprised anyone is attracted to you at all, be them gay or straight. You really think you'd have any more luck with women than men with the obvious self loathing you display? Get real.

If there's one thing you need to change, it isn't your fucking sexuality, it's your pathetic attitude, and stereotypical mindset.

[Tiberius]

Didn't realise you were gay, Nap.

[frankiej]

Didn't realise you were gay, Nap.

I take it you haven't seen the videos of him being fisted by two body builders then?

[jonb]

Stimbo and I have both apologised, that should be an end to it! Those videos
are not for sale and it is breaking our copywrite to put them on show.