"Caution: Food will be hot" You. Don't. Fucking. Say. 
Don’t ask.
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Current time: April 26, 2024, 6:38 pm
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Chiches you want to bitch slap.
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"May cause drowsiness" on a box of sleeping tablets. Isn't that the idea?
Then again, there's some secret organisation out there trying to save the human race by implanting this excellent piece of survival advice on many different products: "Keep out of reach of children". Damn right - kids can be incredibly hazardous to your physical and mental health.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
 RE: Chiches you want to bitch slap.
August 27, 2012 at 10:52 pm
(This post was last modified: August 27, 2012 at 10:53 pm by Darth.)
(August 27, 2012 at 10:28 pm)Stimbo Wrote: * Rooster instead of cock (for similar historically prudish reasons) I know right, what I wouldn't give to be able to buy some fast food at red cock. An Airline gave me a bag of mixed nuts two days ago Warning: may contain traces of nuts...
Nemo me impune lacessit.
RE: Chiches you want to bitch slap.
August 27, 2012 at 10:53 pm
(This post was last modified: August 27, 2012 at 10:58 pm by Cyberman.)
I would probably pay to see someone do that on Youtube!
Oh, just thought of another one: * People who, when faced with an annoying person (such as me for instance), use the phrase "you really get up my goat" when they mean "you really get my goat". The first has rather disconcerting implications as to the accused person's character and personal preferences.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
 (August 27, 2012 at 10:53 pm)Stimbo Wrote: * People who, when faced with an annoying person (such as me for instance), use the phrase "you really get up my goat" when they mean "you really get my goat". I would then provide the following retort: "Only if it was wearing garters and I could get it close to the edge of the roof". RE: Chiches you want to bitch slap.
August 27, 2012 at 11:24 pm
(This post was last modified: August 27, 2012 at 11:25 pm by Cyberman.)
I've found you have to sneak up on them really, really carefully. It helps if you're wearing wellies (i.e. gumboots or whatever the cute transatlantic term is) - that way you can fit their back legs into them and it makes it much easier to keep them still.
So I'm told, anyway...
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
 (August 27, 2012 at 11:18 pm)cato123 Wrote: [quote='Stimbo' pid='327860' dateline='1346122436'] We don't say that here. If an Aussie ever says to you "Look mate,(through gritted teeth) you are really starting to give me the shits/piss me off/ get up my nose/get on me wick-------" RUN,there is no riposte, except to hit him first; but be sure you king hit him (knock him cold) 
(August 27, 2012 at 11:35 pm)padraic Wrote: We don't say that here. Sound advice. But, what if I have a Donk? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufDTDUPZrag 
Not cliches, but business jargon and euphemisms that make me want to defenestrate my coworkers - with translations!
Deferred success = failure. Decruit / dehire / deselect / outplace / inviting to play the home game / made redundant = fire. Downsize / rightsize / smartsize / streamline / reduction in force / rebalancing human capital / reorganization = layoff. Frequently a result of deferred success. Brain dump = To extract the knowledge of an expert employee for the benefit of others, often followed by decruitment. Cost containment = An attempt to reduce expenditures, frequently involves rightsizing. RE: Chiches you want to bitch slap.
August 28, 2012 at 3:45 am
(This post was last modified: August 28, 2012 at 3:48 am by Oldandeasilyconfused.)
Once,straight faced, at a business meeting I actually said; "Id like to run something up the flag post and see if anyone salutes" Nobody blinked. I swear.
Quote:Sound advice. But, what if I have a Donk? I guess that's OK--if you happen to be a girl under 12. 
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