WTF Atheists!?

[Fryslân]

I din't so much meant your post persee. If I understand anyones way of writing on this forum now, it's yours But more the thing that he is happy and sad at the same time and that he like to irritate himself haha
But you really are a masochist summer?

[thesummerqueen]

Certainly sexually, and in other ways if I go too long now without that. Perhaps jokingly towards educational matters, but I do tend to bite off more than I can chew in that regard.

[Faith No More]

I'm a masochist, not sexually, though.

[thesummerqueen]

I'm pretty sure sometimes that's why I hanker after getting tattoos. I would put more holes in my ears (I'm slow to heal in some areas) and then I got tattoos...Now I want another one even though I was in bed for 2 days after the last one.

[Faith No More]

I would love to get a tattoo, but that has been vetoed by the wife(for now).

[Fryslân]

What triggered the masochism in you? Just in short. Have you been abused or anything horrible like that?

[thesummerqueen]

I was physically and emotionally abused for some years, but I don't think it was that.

Some people have a different pain threshold than others. For me, pleasure is deliciously accented by pain, particularly as time goes on during a sexual encounter. Once the endorphins start running, my registry of sensation changes.

My family is also made up of people who like to stay physically and mentally active because we have high amounts of energy. Sometimes when I get a bit strung out over life I like to push myself past the point that I should go in exercising (or get piercings or tattoos) because the pain is very focusing.

None of that has to do with the abuse I suffered, and when I engage in BDSM it's usually understood that humiliation isn't going to be part of the process. This is something separate.

[Fryslân]

Right. I'm not shure what to say. Did not think to hear/read any of the following things you've written. You seem to cope with it quite well though. At least this is what I see of you only on this forum.
Bondage and SM is not really something I'm into. I like to lose controle in other ways. Just so you know, i'm not juding or anything. People deal with things differently.

Time for cliché - I've also not had a verry glamerous childhood. I've been diagnosed with PTSS. I sometimes can't sleep for 2 days straight max of 3 days. This tears my fysical well being and emetional well being into nothing.
It also causes extreme violent and active behaviour in my sleep. So even when I sleep, I don't really rest. Sometimes after days like these, I get frustrated with a lot of things. Like this topic. Normally I can controle and accept things better when I sleep.

What I do for stress relief is someting I don't advise anyone. Mix my MDMA with shrooms and chill the fuck out. I do believe in reaching parts of your brain you can't acces when you're awake or not under influence. If some of the juveniles I work this were to read this, I would be fired. Thank fuck half of them can't read English. Anyway, suxually i'm not into pain or what ever. I naturaly do not want to be reminded of anything that has happend. Sex is my "happy zone". 100% free of any worries. Pain for me usually means something is wrong. Athough bondage is something I am looking onto.

[thesummerqueen]

Well, BDSM has a lot of permutations. Bondage I'm very fond of but also I like the loss of control in general as well - the giving over of power. There are a lot of reasons for this, but none of them are unhealthy or have to do with abuse. Most of it usually has to do with the fact that I was constantly the dominant personality in my groups of friends and it's nice to give over decisions and control to someone else. It's much more complex than a lot of people know about from pop psych. A lot of people also don't understand the intense level of trust you have to have with someone to engage in pain-play. That's why there are safewords. The Dom/Domme has to have an almost hyper-awareness of what their sub can handle, and the sub has to trust them to know it, and on the flip side a Dom has to be able to trust that the sub will give their safe word if they feel at all uncomfortable about what's going on. In this way, with trust, there are no worries.

Also, a lot of people don't know that after the pain, I usually get pampered like a princess by whoever was 'using' me roughly. That's another side of it that people don't realize - giving over control is as much about being cared for as it is "enduring" things. I was so used to caring for myself and being made to feel guilty if someone else had to, that I have a very hard time allowing myself to be lavished over. If I give over control of a situation to someone in that special way, it is easier to make myself relax and let go of the anxieties I get about it.

I cope with life by understanding what I am - every facet - as much as possible, and not being ashamed or bothered by it. I went through some rough depression for a while, but that's about the worst of it. I'm too mean and stubborn to stay down long. While I will never get an apology for what I went through, it has been worked through and it's very rare that I suffer any effects from it. You're more likely to get irrational moods from me due to PMS than anything in my past.

It is good you found something to help you cope, but I assume you've also had discussions with your healthcare professional about other things that could help? I'm not against using drugs sensibly to aid things, especially medically.

[Norfolk And Chance]

It seems like Atheism is turning into a hispter thing on the internet and it's really pissing me of. Everywhere I read shit about Atheists it's all about how clever they are

Right...?