Wow, the real reason why bad things happen.

[Ziploc Surprise]

Thank you Jesus for showing me this.....not.



Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed)kay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...


Right now 100 ways to spoof this thing are running through my mind. The darker side of me wants to make this horrific. I think of that photo of the starving child with the buzzard behind him and want to add that to this spoof. God that's sick.

[Faith No More]

Where did you get this nonsense?

[Ziploc Surprise]

I got it at the place where I get most of my nonsense. A fundamentalist friend of mine posted it on my facebook page. I thought it too precious not to share.

[Jackalope]

What kills me is I know people that eat that shit up like chili cheese fries.

[Minimalist]

What kills me is I know people that eat that shit up like chili cheese fries.

And, like religion, those are no fucking good for you either.

[Faith No More]

I'd like to see god explain away giving cancer to children.

[Cato]

I got it at the place where I get most of my nonsense. A fundamentalist friend of mine posted it on my facebook page. I thought it too precious not to share.

If I'm not mistaken, Facebook has means to 'unfriend' morons.

[Brian37]

I got it at the place where I get most of my nonsense. A fundamentalist friend of mine posted it on my facebook page. I thought it too precious not to share.

Holly shit I really wish people like this were rare. But working in a kitchen where the radio in it is set on the same station with devotional gospel music a the same time every day my co-workers sing along with it "NO BODY GREATER"(Than Jesus's daddy/himself)

And all I can think is "So if I sing a song about Allah that makes Allah the one true god"?

"Lots of people believe it, so that many people cant be wrong".

THAT is why these gems get posted and you share them.

[Ziploc Surprise]

Hey it sounds great until something horribly wrong happens to you or you start to consider the horrible things that happen to other people. God allowed you to be raped so that your rape baby can grow up to be someone great. God allowed you to starve to death to make everyone else in the world thankful they have food. Your parents were shot before your eyes so that you can learn to become more dependent on the precious Lord who makes all blessings flow. Your house and all your possessions were destroyed in that fire because god didn't want those termites to eat away at it anymore (no, this doesn't make sense but I'm on a roll here). God allowed your sister to drown so that she can be clean from the harmful bacteria she has on her hands. Ugh! I think I'm just getting sick here.

[Faith No More]

The worst part about this story is that the person considers that a bad day. Suck it up, pussy.