Alabamian Atheist in Need of Advice

[catfish]

You're welcome.
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I consider anyone who takes the position of the Bible being "infallible" as a fundie, both Christians and non...
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[Celi]

Okay, there's something I've been dancing around here, and I don't know why. I should just say it: I'm a transgender lesbian. A 16-year-old translesbian currently living as a guy. In Alabama. With Christian parents. Yeah.

So that's partly why I'm so nervous about this. While I want to come out as atheist, more importantly I want to come out as trans, which would probably earn me even more harassment than atheism. I guess I could come out as both. That would at least make my life interesting .

Really, I'm at a loss as to what I should do. My parents know about the trans part, but one of them flatly thinks I'm wrong and the other, when pressed, repeatedly claims he needs more time to think about it (they've known for something like 8 months). They won't let me get hormones. I'm tired of keeping all these things secret, but I don't know how or when or what I should come out as. And I'm not sure that I'm brave enough to actually go through with it anyway.

Sorry for all that. I know this is the most teenager-y post I've made, and that's something I'd rather avoid. I just really needed to get that out, and maybe get some advice. I really, really don't know what to do.

[LastPoet]

Celi from Portugal

[jonb]

I just really needed to get that out, and maybe get some advice. I really, really don't know what to do.

Take your time. You don't have to do anything now, relax get your self into a state where you can think things through, that may take days or it may take years, when you are settled, you can start making sound decisions. That is my advice for all problems in general.

[Brian37]

I do not envy you. Alabama, where the religious are religious and the sheep are nervous.

Only you can judge as to when and how because only you can see your environment. and there will be a degree of backlash when you do. You will find however, that no matter what, there is a huge community of online support.

I would recommend that you stay in school, educate yourself every day, even if it is online. LEARN LEARN LEARN.

Books I recomend.

"The New Atheism" Victor Stenger
"The God Delusion" Richard Dawkins
"God Is Not Great" Christopher Hitchens
"Letter To A Christian Nation" Sam Harris
"End of Faith" Sam Harris
"Infidel" Ayaan Hersi Ali

Terms if you dont know,

The problem with infinite regress.
The problem with Pascal's Wager.
Occham's Razor

Useful websites

http://www.atheistforums.org (this one)

http://www.atheistforums.com (completely separate but good)

http://www.rationalresponders.com

http://www.positiveatheism.com (skeptical quotes from famous deists and skeptics)

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com

http://www.atheists.org (american atheists)

http://www.ffrf.org (Freedom From Religion Foundation)

But my best advice is to always remember that any believer of any religion has the starting point of a naked assertion that a disembodied brian with magical super powers exists.

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Okay, there's something I've been dancing around here, and I don't know why. I should just say it: I'm a transgender lesbian. A 16-year-old translesbian currently living as a guy. In Alabama. With Christian parents. Yeah.

So that's partly why I'm so nervous about this. While I want to come out as atheist, more importantly I want to come out as trans, which would probably earn me even more harassment than atheism. I guess I could come out as both. That would at least make my life interesting .

Really, I'm at a loss as to what I should do. My parents know about the trans part, but one of them flatly thinks I'm wrong and the other, when pressed, repeatedly claims he needs more time to think about it (they've known for something like 8 months). They won't let me get hormones. I'm tired of keeping all these things secret, but I don't know how or when or what I should come out as. And I'm not sure that I'm brave enough to actually go through with it anyway.

Sorry for all that. I know this is the most teenager-y post I've made, and that's something I'd rather avoid. I just really needed to get that out, and maybe get some advice. I really, really don't know what to do.

Well, just know that whatever you do, there are people who know what it is like to feel isolated. Labels don't matter. I think a Christian or non Shiite living in Iran can identify with you, or an atheist living in Iran.

Just be you and be happy with your life. Learn every day and stay out of trouble. You do that long term, you'll be fine.

[Confused Ape]

Really, I'm at a loss as to what I should do. My parents know about the trans part, but one of them flatly thinks I'm wrong and the other, when pressed, repeatedly claims he needs more time to think about it (they've known for something like 8 months). They won't let me get hormones. I'm tired of keeping all these things secret, but I don't know how or when or what I should come out as. And I'm not sure that I'm brave enough to actually go through with it anyway.

An acquaintance of mine has an offspring who has started the gender transition treatment from male to female - it's a very long and carefully monitored process. She is still in the Real Lfe Experience stage.

http://transgenderexplored.com/hormone.htm

As you'll see from the above article, it's not a simple case of rushing out and getting hormone treatment. Anyone wishing to go through the full process has to be 100% sure it's what they want because there's no going back after full surgery.

http://transgenderexplored.com/surgery.htm

The person concerned has to be 18 as well.

My advice, then, is to concentrate on getting an education and think of the procedure as a goal for the future. As for your father needing more time to think about it after 8 months, well, it can be difficult for parents to get their heads round the fact that a son is really a daughter or vice versa. My acquaintance accepted the news straight away but it still took her a long time to get used to it on an everyday level.

If coming out as an atheist scares you at the moment get all the support you need from atheists online. You won't feel so isolated if you can talk to other people who don't believe in any deity.

[Celi]

Thanks, guys.

An acquaintance of mine has an offspring who has started the gender transition treatment from male to female - it's a very long and carefully monitored process. She is still in the Real Lfe Experience stage.

http://transgenderexplored.com/hormone.htm

As you'll see from the above article, it's not a simple case of rushing out and getting hormone treatment. Anyone wishing to go through the full process has to be 100% sure it's what they want because there's no going back after full surgery.

http://transgenderexplored.com/surgery.htm

The person concerned has to be 18 as well.

My advice, then, is to concentrate on getting an education and think of the procedure as a goal for the future. As for your father needing more time to think about it after 8 months, well, it can be difficult for parents to get their heads round the fact that a son is really a daughter or vice versa. My acquaintance accepted the news straight away but it still took her a long time to get used to it on an everyday level.

If coming out as an atheist scares you at the moment get all the support you need from atheists online. You won't feel so isolated if you can talk to other people who don't believe in any deity.

I've done plenty of research myself. You don't have to be 18, and hormone therapy isn't surgery. I'm uncertain what to do about the situation with my parents, but I've been very certain that this is what I need for a long time. Thanks, though.

[Confused Ape]

I've done plenty of research myself. You don't have to be 18, and hormone therapy isn't surgery. I'm uncertain what to do about the situation with my parents, but I've been very certain that this is what I need for a long time. Thanks, though.

I looked at other sites which said 18 for the US. Perhaps the website owners got their information from specialists who won't accept anyone under 18 even though other specialists will.

Where your parents are concerned, there's nothing you can do if parental consent is required for anyone under the age of majority. If this is the case you can only make it a goal for the future.

[Celi]

I've done plenty of research myself. You don't have to be 18, and hormone therapy isn't surgery. I'm uncertain what to do about the situation with my parents, but I've been very certain that this is what I need for a long time. Thanks, though.

I looked at other sites which said 18 for the US. Perhaps the website owners got their information from specialists who won't accept anyone under 18 even though other specialists will.

Where your parents are concerned, there's nothing you can do if parental consent is required for anyone under the age of majority. If this is the case you can only make it a goal for the future.

Well, obviously. But I haven't given up on them entirely. My dad at least is open-minded about it, he just doesn't want to face the problem. At least they've never condemned it on religious grounds.

[Confused Ape]

But I haven't given up on them entirely. My dad at least is open-minded about it, he just doesn't want to face the problem. At least they've never condemned it on religious grounds.

That means they won't reject you when the time comes.

I'm nearly 63 and one thing I've learned about life is that we can't always have everything we want immediately. Sometimes we just have to be patient and make something a goal for the future. If you can't start the treatment for a few years you could concentrate on what you can do in your life at this moment.

Have you thought about a career? If so, you can make education an immediate goal. You can chat to fellow atheists onlne and get advice from atheists living in areas where most people are very religious. There are other atheists of your age in a similar situation to yourself where being a 16 year old still living at home is concerned. You can support each other.