My Testimony of Gods grace

[JesusSaves]

I don’t usually know how to answer atheists(if you are one) because It always comes with having to put a lot of thought and logic into how I will respond. I grew up in a Christian home and didn’t really grasp spirituality like I do now. But looking back I can see how God was always there for me, and the Holy Spirit was indwelling me since my acceptance of Christ when I was 8 years old, I just didn’t really let him in as I should have then. I backslid through high school and college and used drugs and alcohol. I failed out of school and eventually things became worse, leading to a porn addiction, masturbation coupled with amphetamine and alcohol abuse. I hit the deepest darkness, the very deepest. I was even reading books on the Higgs particle and physics at the time. I would yell and say he didnt exist, then seconds later, say I didnt mean that. One night I was in my dad’s car because I had gotten kicked out of my house for alcohol use, and I was up on adderall for two days, looking at porn. When I hit the end of the line, I cried out to God, my heart cried out to Him as if it knew he was the only one who could hear. Tears fell from my face and I yelled that I didn’t want to be evil anymore, that I couldn’t do it anymore. God answered with His Spirit, I was comforted immediately and had thoughts of how I should be living, he was there with me. Two weeks later God pointed me to Jesus, and I reaccepted Him. I will never forget sitting in the church that week, frightened saddened and I felt unworthy to be there, like I wasn’t even human, still wondering if God had forgiven me. I kept telling myself to leave but something kept telling me to stay. Halfway through the service, the Holy Spirit came to me and wiped away every evil thought, all of my fear and all of my anxiety and I was filled with the purest, sweetest love you could ever imagine, I knew it was God and he was telling me everything was going to be ok. This is how I know Gods love for me, and for all of us, not from books but the fact that he never left me, and after all of these things I had done he had forgiven me, and like the prodigal son, welcomed me back with open arms. Gods amazing love will never fail us. I can testify that Jesus is the Son of God and he did die for each one of us, for our sins that bind us and blind us. He wants to heal you, forgive you and bring you into a personal relationship with himself. He will never leave us, it’s us that walk away from Him. your friend -James