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What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?
#1
What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?
So i am reading about the 72 virgins in Quran and I thought to myself what if you are not as perverted as Muhammad & his men and do not want the 72 virgins?

According to the Quran the Last Day will arrive when all Muslims fight with the Jews, If all Muslims fight with the Jews they are fighting for Jihad and that would mean reward of 72 virgins when they reach paradise (heaven).

Sunan Ibn Majah, Zuhd (Book of Abstinence) 39

Abu Umama narrated: "The Messenger of God said, 'Everyone that God admits into paradise will be married to 72 wives; two of them are houris and seventy of his inheritance of the [female] dwellers of hell. All of them will have libidinous sex organs and he will have an ever-erect penis.' "

Al-Tirmidhi, Vol. 4, Ch. 21, No. 2687

It was mentioned by Daraj Ibn Abi Hatim, that Abu al-Haytham 'Adullah Ibn Wahb narrated from Abu Sa'id al-Khudhri, who heard the Prophet Muhammad PBUH saying, 'The smallest reward for the people of Heaven is an abode where there are eighty thousand servants and seventy-two houri, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine and ruby, as wide as the distance from al-Jabiyyah to San'a.

Al-Itqan fi Ulum al-Qur'an, p. 351
Each time we sleep with a Houri we find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation that you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one [i.e. Muslim] will marry seventy [sic] houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetizing vaginas.

Sifat al-Janna, al-`Uqayli in the Du`afa’, and Musnad of Abu Bakr al-Bazzar
Anas said, Allah be well-pleased with him: The Messenger of Allah said, upon him blessings and peace: “The servant in Paradise shall be married with seventy wives.” Someone said, “Messenger of Allah, can he bear it?” He said: “He will be given strength for a hundred.” From Zayd ibn Arqam, Allah be well-pleased with him, when an incredulous Jew or Christian asked the Prophet, upon him blessings and peace, “Are you claiming that a man will eat and drink in Paradise??” He replied: “Yes, by the One in Whose hand is my soul, and each of them will be given the strength of a hundred men in his eating, drinking, coitus, and pleasure.”

Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Abridged, Volume 10 Surat At-Tagabun to the end of the Qur'an, 333-334
This [Qur'an 78:33] means round breasts. They meant by this that the breasts of these girls will be fully rounded and not sagging, because they will be virgins, equal in age.

Doesn't this sound like a really really sick mind trying to please equally sick individuals to get them to do things they would rather not?

I mean come on if there was a god he is a really big pervert
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#2
RE: What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?
Give me 36 minutes and they won't be virgins anymore!
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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#3
RE: What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?
(May 21, 2013 at 8:51 am)Tonus Wrote: Give me 36 minutes and they won't be virgins anymore!

Doing that math it's about 45 seconds a girl. I'm not so sure about your stamina but I applaud your recovery time.
[Image: dcep7c.jpg]
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#4
RE: What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?
(May 21, 2013 at 11:44 am)CapnAwesome Wrote: Doing that math it's about 45 seconds a girl.

I think your math is a little off there, Cap'n.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#5
RE: What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?
Give me two professionals....virgins aren't worth the fucking trouble.
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#6
RE: What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?
(May 21, 2013 at 11:50 am)Minimalist Wrote: Give me two professionals....virgins aren't worth the fucking trouble.

Literally! Angel
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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#7
RE: What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?


I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#8
RE: What if you are not as pervert as Muhammad & his men?
"never trust people who only have one fucking book."

Says it all. And very ecumenical. Applies to all religious douchenozzles everywhere, at all times.
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