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Raising a child religiously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 4:00 pm
(This post was last modified: May 29, 2013 at 4:35 pm by diego.)
My wife is a Catholic; I an atheist.
We just have a baby. Before the birth of our baby, my wife and I agreed that neither one of us would influence the baby regarding religion In other words, let the baby decides when she's old enough and think for herself.
but my wife has already broken our agreement a few times and start forcing god onto our baby  . what do you think i should do? i don't want to argue with my wife about religion because neither one of us could persuade the other to abandon their religious views. On the other hand, i can't let her brainwash the baby at such early age.
thanks for your time
diego
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RE: Raising a child religously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 4:33 pm
(This post was last modified: May 29, 2013 at 4:36 pm by Gilgamesh.)
Tell your baby that there has never been - and never will be any supporting evidence that any god claim has been true. If she grows up knowing that yet still becomes christian, then she deserves to be christian.
Although, it's peculiar that your wife would have you agree not to influence the child religiously, since you're an atheist. Why would an atheist ever try to convert a child to a religion?
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RE: Raising a child religously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Don't really know what to tell you...
How is she forcing god onto your baby? Did she get the baby Christened? Or is she taking baby to mass on Sundays? Reading god-themed baby-books?
If she just wanted to get the baby christened, and there's been nothing else, I'd be pissed too, but what can you do? But if she's doing ongoing things, like taking baby to church every week, she's clearly breaking your prior agreement. That's kind of a big deal, at least it would be to me...
I guess you've got to decide if the breach of your agreement is a deal breaker, and somehow reconcile the larger issue of incompatible faiths...
We've got a few members with spouses with differing belief systems... Maybe they'll have some good advice.
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RE: Raising a child religiously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 5:12 pm
(May 29, 2013 at 4:00 pm)diego Wrote: My wife is a Catholic; I an atheist.
We just have a baby. Before the birth of our baby, my wife and I agreed that neither one of us would influence the baby regarding religion In other words, let the baby decides when she's old enough and think for herself.
but my wife has already broken our agreement a few times and start forcing god onto our baby . what do you think i should do? i don't want to argue with my wife about religion because neither one of us could persuade the other to abandon their religious views. On the other hand, i can't let her brainwash the baby at such early age.
thanks for your time
diego
Baby... you keep using that word.
I have no memory whatsoever of what happened to me before the age of 5... even after that and up to ~10 everything is very faded.
If you don't want to stir up the cauldron, just let her do what she likes doing and you do what you like to do.
In the end, you'll hear questions like the ones my kids pose:
- Why don't you pray?
- What would make you believe in J.C.?
etc...
Answer truthfully (even if your wife is listening.. heck, she brought it on herself).
The seeds of doubting the god story are planted... no need for anything else.... real life takes care of it.
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Re: Raising a child religiously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 5:51 pm
Remind your wife that you had an agreement, and also remind her that your child is a human being with a mind of her own and a right ro religious freedom and that pushing a religion on her at such a vulnerable age is a direct infringement of that right.
Or just take the route with less arguments and make that kid smart enough to figure shit out for herself. Read her lots of books, give her baby books to play with, show her the moon and stars at night and tell her about what they are. Take her to museums on the weekends when she's big enough to be aware of what's around her. Make her a curious little girl and she'll never be religious.
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RE: Raising a child religiously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 5:59 pm
The other day, I asked my kids (who like dinosaurs very much): did the dinosaurs come before or after Adam & Eve?
They couldn't answer!
I LOLed.
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RE: Raising a child religiously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 7:10 pm
Question: It appears there are more non-believer men married to believer women than vice versa. For me, a non-believer female, I really have a difficult time imagining marrying a believer... Does anyone know a female non-believer who is married to a believer? Just curious.
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RE: Raising a child religiously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 7:21 pm
Knowing what I know about Catholic doctrine I would think it's going to be damn near impossible to keep her from influencing your child. I don't know why she would even agree to it in the first place. Maybe just to appease you?
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RE: Raising a child religiously neutral
May 29, 2013 at 7:29 pm
My protestant father absolutly dispised and hated the catholic church and often had long loud and almoust violent arguments with my catholic mother who took me to church in early years.
They would later agree to not give me any specific religious upbringing, but bought me books and other stuff interducing me to all and also told me about atheism.
But more than that I remember the loud arguments between my parents - so put especialy much emphasis in gaining an agreement with your wife.
Adding to that, this issues came up when I was 7, so it might be a bit early to ask such questions. On the other hand it may be a good thing to think about futture problems and their solutions.
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RE: Raising a child religiously neutral
May 30, 2013 at 3:35 pm
(This post was last modified: May 30, 2013 at 3:47 pm by diego.)
(May 29, 2013 at 4:33 pm)Gilgamesh Wrote: Tell your baby that there has never been - and never will be any supporting evidence that any god claim has been true. If she grows up knowing that yet still becomes christian, then she deserves to be christian.
Although, it's peculiar that your wife would have you agree not to influence the child religiously, since you're an atheist. Why would an atheist ever try to convert a child to a religion?
Gilgamesh,
thanks for your response.
our baby is still not yet 1 year old as of today. but my wife has already started saying things like "bow to god", "this is God", etc...
children can be brainwashed at early age. i'm afraid that her brainwashing may be irreversible... i want my baby to grow up open-minded, logical, not homophobic, tolerant, not superstitious and fearful of what others say about god's punishment for non-believers. Since you visit this forum, you know exactly what i'm talking about.
btw, there are religions that are atheistic... most of the far east religions are. one could be religious and atheistic at the same time.
(May 29, 2013 at 4:35 pm)festive1 Wrote: Don't really know what to tell you...
How is she forcing god onto your baby? Did she get the baby Christened? Or is she taking baby to mass on Sundays? Reading god-themed baby-books?
If she just wanted to get the baby christened, and there's been nothing else, I'd be pissed too, but what can you do? But if she's doing ongoing things, like taking baby to church every week, she's clearly breaking your prior agreement. That's kind of a big deal, at least it would be to me...
I guess you've got to decide if the breach of your agreement is a deal breaker, and somehow reconcile the larger issue of incompatible faiths...
We've got a few members with spouses with differing belief systems... Maybe they'll have some good advice.
@ festive1 ,
thanks for your response.
my wife did mention that she wants to christened our baby, but i told her no... the baby is not guilty of any crimes therefore needs no saviors. she did try to buy god-themed baby books, but i told her not to. she also did other things... please see my response to the first post.
our baby is still under a year old. so she's not going to church... yet. at least that's what i know, i don't know if my wife took her to church without my knowledge.
what irked me so much is that my wife is blatantly breaking our agreement. it's clear that she values her faith more than her own words, our agreement, and her husband. what would other husbands do in this situation?
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