Funny Stories in the News

[Rayaan]

Sometimes we come across funny and unusual news stories on the internet, so ... here is a thread for that.

Here is one:

Ants Ring Woman's Doorbell Repeatedly

An elderly woman in Germany who heard her doorbell rung repeatedly late at night naturally called the cops. Although it seemed like the work of a prankster, officers uncovered a much smaller culprit: ants.

Police in Offenburg responded when the 75-year-old woman made a desperate call at 3 a.m. on Wednesday, the German news magazine Focus reported. But when they arrived, officers didn’t find anyone at the door. On closer inspection they found that ants had built such a large nest that it was pressing the doorbell components together to make it ring.

http://news.discovery.com/animals/insect...130531.htm

[Something completely different]

http://www.themoscowtimes.com/columns//a...76242.html

Hair Stylist Keeps Armed Robber as Sex Slave

In what is either the weirdest Russian crime story of the year so far or a new low in yellow crime journalism, a female hair stylist in the Kaluga region is suspected of holding an armed robber in captivity as a sex slave for two days after he unsuccessfully tried to knock over her beauty salon.

Attentive Crime Watch readers will need little more than the first paragraph of this post to understand that this bizarre saga was relayed by the intrepid crime hacks over at the web site Life.ru, which, together with newspaper Tvoi Den, is setting the bar extremely high for sensationalist scoops.

According to Life.ru, the events unfolded on the evening of March 14 as the stylist was wrapping up her shift at the salon in the Kaluga region town of Meshchovsk.

The robber, a 32-year-old man identified by Life.ru as "Viktor," burst into the salon at around 5 p.m. waving a pistol and ordered all of the stylists and clients to hit the floor and toss him their money.

At this point, 28-year-old Olga, whom Life.ru describes as a "delicate" girl trained in martial arts, was apparently still standing when she offered to hand over her cash. But when Viktor tried to accept her contribution, Olga surprised him with a quick punch to the chest, knocking the wind out of him before she flipped him to the ground.

Olga proceeded to tie Viktor up with a hair-dryer cord, gagged him and dragged him into a storage room.

Curiously, Life.ru reports, Olga instructed the others to keep working, telling them that the police would soon arrive.

But this feel-good moment for the good guy proved ephemeral. Things soon turned ugly, according to Life.ru.

The police did not come. And after the other stylists and clients went home for the evening, Olga told Viktor to "take off his underwear" and, with apologies to John Cougar Mellencamp, let her do as she pleases, lest she call the cops, Life.ru said.

She tied him to the radiator with handcuffs covered in frilly pink fabric, gave him some Viagra and had her way with him several times over the next 48 hours. When she finally let him go on the evening of March 16, Viktor had been "squeezed like a lemon," Life.ru reported.

[pocaracas]

http://www.timeslive.co.za/world/2013/06...llen-ovary

Man discovers he's a woman after doctors find swollen ovary

A 66-year-old who lived his whole life as a man was given a surprising diagnosis after visiting the doctor in Hong Kong with a swollen abdomen — he was a woman.

Doctors realised the patient was female after they found the swelling came from a large cyst on an ovary, the Hong Kong Medical Journal reported.

The condition was the result of two rare genetic disorders.

The subject had Turner syndrome, which affects girls and women and results from a problem with the chromosomes, with characteristics including infertility and short stature.

But he also had congenital adrenal hyperplasia, increasing male hormones and making the patient, who had a beard and a “micropenis”, appear like a man.

[Faith No More]

"Micropenis"? At least "he" has an excuse...

[NoraBrimstone]

http://metro.co.uk/2013/06/04/randy-moos...e-3827638/

Randy moose falls in love with bronze moose statue

A randy moose has become an unexpected wildlife attraction after falling in love with a bronze moose statue.

The statue was erected in Grand Lake, Colorado, around a week ago and quickly attracted the attention of the lusty young bull moose.

Neighbours say the lonely animal mounts the statue, which is also male, every morning without fail having struck up a close bond with the garden sculpture.

The bull moose and statue are proving popular with residents and visitors to Colorado’s largest natural lake who have been filming and taking pictures of the unlikely pair.

‘There’s two things he wants to do. And one of ‘em is eat,’ neighbour Bob Balink told Colorado’s 9News.

‘The strange thing is he’s trying to mate with a statue.’

Another added: ‘He’s in love. He’s nuzzling, and he kisses and he walks around, and he gets on top of him.’

The statue is being courted by a number of moose in the area; however this particular bull appears the most determined to prove his love.

[Doubting Thomas]

You know all the other moose are laughing at him.