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The Last Movie You Watched
RE: The Last Movie You Watched




This week in the Deep  Hurting Project, Who's Your Caddy?, a ripoff of Caddyshack with exponentially higher melanin content and just a exponentially lower talent (despite having a shockingly large cast list of people I know who can do a lot better than this).
  • 3:20: He's told he's  not allowed to join the golf club and his first reaction is to sexually harrass the receptionist? 
  • 4:38 The artist formerly known as... how the fuck do you even spell that? 
  • 4:58: You don't watch much MTV? Seriously, even by that point, people were making fun of how music was almost never on MTV.
  • 6:18: You Killed Johnny Cochran? Why should I give a shit about these idiots and their attempts at getting into a golf club?
  • 10:00: And he films a rap video on the golf course illegally
  • 11:34: Toplessness is not commando. And why is this supposed to convince him to allow him to be a member in the club? 
  • 13:33: It's a gentleman's club, which is supposedly why scantily clad women dancing is not allowed.
  • 18:07: Grounds for dismemberment? Couldn't they have chosen a better word, like expulsion? Did they really have to do this to make the golf club owner seem like the less likable party in this conflict?
  • 21:46: Is that Andy Milonakis? Should I be surprised at this or not? Or should I just ask why he's in this when they could have just picked any other white kid and not even have given him anything funny to do?
  • 22:30: Is that the chord structure of "Saturday in the Park"?
  • Okay, I just looked at the film's Wikipedia page and I found out a weird factoid. This film has one big fan, despite having a 6% score on Rotten Tomatoes. That fan? Bill Fucking Clinton. Apparently, Todd Phillips and Bradley Cooper met with Bill Clinton while filming The Hangover II and claimed that this was his favourite comedy. I don't get it either.
  • Also, the Golf Club Owner? He's played by Jeffrey Jones. This was the only film he could get cast in after his 2003 CP arrest.
  • 30:30: Did He Say N****r? Why do I get the feeling if I were black, I'd recognise more stereotypes and be more pissed at this movie?
  • 31:39: I'm fairly certain concealed carry permit does not apply to the rules set by a business owner.
  • 32:11: Why is this pastor/lawyer just given his own introduction? And why do I get the feeling he's never coming back after this scene?
  • 33:33: What the fuck language is that supposed to be? Is she speaking in tongues?
  • 42:03: They put a midget in the film just to have him get indignant at words that might be construed to refer to his height. This is just so cliche a joke.
  • 47:30: They're using the clean version of "Straight Outta Compton"? And just a few seconds before Andy Milonakis uses the N-word (in the rapper sense of the word).
  • 49:58: Cool guys don't look at explosions/They blow things up and then walk away/Who's got time to watch an explosion/Cause cool guy's errand's that they have to walk too.
  • 58:05: Why do our heroes have a polo team now? 
  • 59:15: No, don't turn off the Robert Randolph music, that was going to give the film an actual redeeming quality... Wait, never mind, they went back to it. And why did they decide to turn the music off every time someone scored a point?
  • 62:50: So, there's an actual reason C-Note is trying to get into this golf club? Revenge over racism because a caddy was a better golfer than Arnold Palmer?
  • 68:27: Why is this fart going on so fucking long? And why do I get the feeling that they're going to win by being total jackasses and distracting Jeffrey Jones at every available opportunity.
  • 79:00: And of course the midget is turning state's evidence. Of course.
Okay, so, by this point, I'm just relying on YouTube and checking the films that are A) already on my list of films on the So Bad It's Horrible/Film list available at my local library and B) available in a full-length upload on YouTube. At this point, all that's left before I just keep looking for films that are on YouTube are two kids' movies, but, since I want to keep to my cycles (at this point, comedy, drama, and youth), I've trawled my email archives and discovered that, Wired, the shitty John Belushi biopic, was categorised as a Drama while my library still had VHS tapes in circulation, and since it's on YouTube, I'll be doing that next week.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]

I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
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RE: The Last Movie You Watched


Reply
RE: The Last Movie You Watched
(May 9, 2020 at 11:33 pm)masoni Wrote:



"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard P. Feynman
Reply
RE: The Last Movie You Watched
(May 10, 2020 at 5:12 am)Sal Wrote:



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RE: The Last Movie You Watched
Remembering the future as well as the past sounds like it would be horrible.  Everything in your brain would be both a pleasant memory and a nasty shock.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: The Last Movie You Watched
(May 10, 2020 at 5:28 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Remembering the future as well as the past sounds like it would be horrible.  Everything in your brain would be both a pleasant memory and a nasty shock.

Boru

You didn't have any high points in your life?
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RE: The Last Movie You Watched
(May 10, 2020 at 5:47 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:
(May 10, 2020 at 5:28 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Remembering the future as well as the past sounds like it would be horrible.  Everything in your brain would be both a pleasant memory and a nasty shock.

Boru

You didn't have any high points in your life?

I don't get the question.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: The Last Movie You Watched
(May 10, 2020 at 5:48 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(May 10, 2020 at 5:47 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: You didn't have any high points in your life?

I don't get the question.

Boru

You know everything, the good and the bad. You don't just slide from one disaster to another.
Reply
RE: The Last Movie You Watched
(May 10, 2020 at 5:47 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:
(May 10, 2020 at 5:28 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Remembering the future as well as the past sounds like it would be horrible.  Everything in your brain would be both a pleasant memory and a nasty shock.

Boru

You didn't have any high points in your life?

Drugs are bad!
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: The Last Movie You Watched
(May 10, 2020 at 6:19 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(May 10, 2020 at 5:47 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: You didn't have any high points in your life?

Drugs are bad!

Breaking bad?
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