The Last Movie You Watched

[Gwaithmir]

[Foxaèr]

Hatching

A young gymnast, who tries desperately to please her demanding mother, discovers a strange egg. She hides it and keeps it warm, but when it hatches, what emerges shocks them all.

[Foxaèr]

No Exit

During a blizzard and stranded at an isolated highway rest stop in the mountains, a college student discovers a kidnapped child hidden in a car belonging to one of the people inside.

[Foxaèr]

Room 203

Two best friends and roommates are terrified by the vengeful spirits dwelling in their apartment. Based on the novel published by Kobunsha and written by Nanami Kamon.

[Angrboda]

Kirk the Viking and the Silver Lion

[Orbit]

Funny Lady

[Foxaèr]

The Munsters

Reboot of "The Munsters", that followed a family of monsters who moves from Transylvania to an American suburb.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The Munsters

Reboot of "The Munsters", that followed a family of monsters who moves from Transylvania to an American suburb.

It’s almost like Rob Zombie is trying to secure his place on ‘The Worst Filmmakers Ever’ list.

Boru

[Foxaèr]

Rainbow

Modern day Dorothy (Wizard of Oz inspiration) faces the challenges of being a teenager nowdays.

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. For the record, I've never watched any of the Friday the 13th movies in full (honestly, it was a bit too much normie horror for my taste), so try to not be too hard if I miss on some of the lore. Honestly, it turns out that this month is a Leaving HBO Max At The End of The Month themed-month, so I'm just going to dive right in.

• Come on, how many poorly-lit scenes can you do this for before you actually show us the killer?
  
• Wow. They were actually prepared for Jason, ambushed him, and even got him to make noises like in that last section of "You Know My Name Look Up The Number." So why the fuck are there still 80 minutes of the movie left?
  
• What the fuck is Level C clearance and why the fuck does the autopsy of Jason Voorhies require that level of confidentiality? And why is the coroner speaking into a giant microphone?
  
• Why have they devoted half the movie so far to the autopsy? And why is that heart's weight fluctuating so wildly? How is it still beating? And most importantly, why the fuck is the fact that it's still beating compel the coroner to eat it, causing a bunch of trails of light to enter him and make him growl? Seriously, I once snorted some of my own mother's ashes just to know what it would be like, and this strikes me to
  
• A mango sized crap? I just took a crap bigger than a mango and it took me 10 minutes to plunge the toilet.
  
• And as a twist, it turns out the body count the news anchor confirms for Jason is actually accurate as of this point in the movie.
  
• So, what makes Clayton think he can kill Jason if he says that Jason's body being dead doesn't mean anything?
  
• You know what, the fact that they're naming food items after Jason reminds me of this idea I had for a restaurant: The Long Pork Family Restaurant. It's going to be a cannibalism-themed casual dining restaurant with items named after famous cannibals (like the Dahmer Burger, a bigger burger named after Big Lurch, the Armin Meiwes Menschenschnitzel, or the Sweeney Todd meat pies, a low-carb version of the Dahmer burger called the Toddler Body Bag, maybe even add an option to Hannibalise each meal with a side order of fava beans and a nice chianti), and the twist is that it's actually veal and not human flesh.
  
• And to anyone who wonders what I meant by "normie horror," just watch the scenes after the diner. It's just a bunch of set pieces involving people camping out, then fucking, then getting killed by Coroner!Jason. It's repetitive as all fuck, and once you get a taste for more  disturbing horror movies with far more extreme content, you start to see the normal slasher movie as just boring and repetitive fare.
  
• So, is Coroner!Jason just tying up that random guy, shaving him, and eating him? Okay, that part's different. 
  
• Clayton's giving me serious Jeffrey Wright vibes, are you sure this isn't him, IMDb?
  
• So, here's the plot: apparently Jason can only be killed by a member of his own bloodline, except he has to go through some Voldemort Shit before he can truly possess a member of his own bloodline. The big battle happens at night and on a playground on the Voorhies Estate.
  
• Also, did I mention that he can apparently possess the corpses of his sister and mother via a process that looks a lot like sex?
  
• And the movie ends with a setup for Freddy vs. Jason, a movie that would sit in development Hell for about a decade because this movie bombed. Also, I should mention that they decided to make this the nexus movie that seems to set up a shared universe with not only the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, but also the Evil Dead movies (according to the director, apparently, Jason was a Deadite all along, but the studio wouldn't make it explicit), and if the reference to the Myers house isn't a homage, even the Halloween movies.
  

Schedule for the coming weeks:

• October 9: Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
  
• October 16: Happily N'Ever After
  
• October 23: Happily N'Ever After 2
  
• October 30: The Devil and Father Amorth (the only movie this month that I'm not choosing specifically because it won't be available to stream in November.)