Well, it turns out my laptop has been given a day of reprieve before we send it in to have whatever is wrong with the audio fixed. So, this week's Deep Hurting Project is coming right on time, and this week, in the category of "shit the Reverend probably should have taken on last month," it's the Asylum's King of the Lost World, an adaptation of Arthur Conan-Doyle's The Lost World and totally not a ripoff of the 2005 remake of King Kong, even if the Asylum's pattern and the release date suggests it.
- Hmm. This B-roll footage from Planet Earth is okay.
- Ah, yes, the old "cover the screen in CGI Airplane exhaust smoke to cover up the fact that you can't do a convincing plane crash" trick.
- Is that supposed to be a nightmare? Was the whole "plane crash" thing not scary enough and you had to have a nightmare where you were killed by a giant CGI gorilla?
- That look when the woman says "I guess there are a lot of spiders out here" is priceless, like he wants to tell her "Bitch, do you think we can't see that from the giant fucking spider web?"
- Wow. That giant spider grabbed that guy, stripped his skin to the bone, and cocooned him in less than a minute.
- And it looks like Not-King Kong has the uncanny ability to detect fate being tempted and roar on cue.
- So, it was the vine that ate the guy? You know, you could have made that clearer by not having the guy be taken up by a giant spider.
- How many random plane wrecks are they going to find on this island?
- Odd, I never knew Thomas Pynchon was a scorpion.
- And now we have these random natives we're only just now finding out live on the island over halfway through the movie. Also, why are they white?
- And I recognise the word "Monstro." .. Is that Italian the natives are speaking? Is there a hybrid survivalist-Juggalo scene off the coast of Italy?
- Okay, apparently non-consensual lesbianism is part of this sacrifice ritual.
- Finally, we actually get to kinda see Not-King Kong in this King Kong ripoff. 67 minutes into a 80 minute movie. And he exists to mostly to menace the main characters and get into Birdemic-style fights with what I think are Pteranodons.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.