Americas child death shame

[Rahul]

All teenagers think they know everything.

Ever seen that sticker that says, "Hey teenagers! Move out now while you still know everything!".

[Doubting Thomas]

Yeah I want to nip this in the bud before it keeps going. Bad enough to have a teenager who thinks they know everything arguing with you, but to have a 3-year-old doing it (especially when his only argument is "no it isn't") is pretty annoying.

[Koolay]

That is unbelievably bad. The mistreatment of children is truly unholy. Until we recognise that children's rights are the most important, the sooner we outgrow evil in the world.

[Mystical]

There's just no safety net for kids. Especially ones under 5. The government doesn't keep track of anything but births and deaths. I haven't heard of anyone getting in trouble for not schooling their kid. Or not taking the baby for required checkups. The government is the biggest its ever been and sTill not doing the absolute basics to protect its citizens. Where's the money? Oh yeah. Bailed out the banks. Now they took that money and used it to lobby mOre of our rights away. Yay.

[downbeatplumb]

Yeah I want to nip this in the bud before it keeps going. Bad enough to have a teenager who thinks they know everything arguing with you, but to have a 3-year-old doing it (especially when his only argument is "no it isn't") is pretty annoying.

No it isn't.

[festive1]

There's just no safety net for kids. Especially ones under 5. The government doesn't keep track of anything but births and deaths. I haven't heard of anyone getting in trouble for not schooling their kid. Or not taking the baby for required checkups. The government is the biggest its ever been and sTill not doing the absolute basics to protect its citizens. Where's the money? Oh yeah. Bailed out the banks. Now they took that money and used it to lobby mOre of our rights away. Yay.

In fairness... Those of us that do take our kids to the doctor and/or ER are scrutinized.
My oldest broke his collar bone when he was 2.5 or 3. We went to the ER, and this only occurred to me afterwards, but we were placed in the exam room directly across from the nurses' station. I'm guessing so they could watch my interactions with him. They also had various people ask me how he got injured. Seriously, like 5 or 6 different nurses/doctors, again, I'd guess to make sure I wasn't telling people different stories. I wasn't paranoid during the ER visit, my son broke his collar bone coloring whilst standing in a wagon. But in retrospect it was nice to see people were looking out for him.
I had similar a experience with our pediatrician when the same son tripped down our porch steps (what can I say, he's a klutz like mom), resulting in a giant scrape on half of his face and a spectacular black eye. Again, I was asked several times how it happened and the doc asked me if I or my husband were stressed.
There is a small safety net. But abusive parents often keep their kids out of the system as long as possible, thereby rendering it ineffective for lots of small children.

[Psykhronic]

Some people just aren't meant to be parents. But a lot of people don't get that, and the decision to not have kids is not a popular one. I've had so many people try to convince me otherwise, and all with ridiculous (and infuriating) reasons like:
1. but what about your parents? you're not going to give them grandchildren?
2. but don't you want to leave something behind?
3. what if your husband/bf really wants kids?
4. who's going to take care of you when you're old?
5. you can't always travel and hangout with friends, one day they'll have their families and you'll be all alone.
6. why don't you think you'll be happy with children? once you have one you'll LOVE it.
7. adoption is not the same as having your own. (when i say i'll never risk pregnancy if i change my mind, since there are kids that already need parents out there)
8. you'll regret it and it'll be too late (and this one is SO POPULAR)

And this may just be my own experience, but only other people who don't want kids have ever understood my position. Anyone who's already had kids, or wants kids, will try to talk me out of it. Which is hilarious because I'm often so busy that when I get home around 9-10pm, I just want to watch some shows and crash. Imagine if there's a crying baby, I'll go nuts.

I think people should understand that babies take up 18 years of your life at least, if you're lucky. Sure there are people who love to be parents and devote their lives to their children. And that's great. But not everyone can make a commitment like that, and you may not have done a good thing, when you convince someone who has doubts to have a kid.

When I was about four years old I decided, whilst walking to the store with my mom, that I did not want children. Ever. She was telling me all this heartwarming stuff about bearing children, because I asked about it, and I asked her immediately if there was a way to ensure I would not get pregnant. She told me about tubals and I said I was going to get that done. I also figured I wouldn't get married either, because fuck that.

My mom has been pretty decent about my decision, a lot of people though were pretty harsh to me especially when I was younger. It's hard too when I see the whole "having the capability to bear children" as something womanly, and I am nullgender (I am aware other non-cisgendered people take different views).

EDIT: I'd like to also say, usually it's women giving me the hardest time about this subject which I find fascinating.

[Doubting Thomas]

Yeah I want to nip this in the bud before it keeps going. Bad enough to have a teenager who thinks they know everything arguing with you, but to have a 3-year-old doing it (especially when his only argument is "no it isn't") is pretty annoying.

No it isn't.

[pineapplebunnybounce]

When I was about four years old I decided, whilst walking to the store with my mom, that I did not want children. Ever. She was telling me all this heartwarming stuff about bearing children, because I asked about it, and I asked her immediately if there was a way to ensure I would not get pregnant. She told me about tubals and I said I was going to get that done. I also figured I wouldn't get married either, because fuck that.

same here, never once did i ever like children enough to want them around 24/7. In fact, getting pregnant is my worst nightmare.

My mom has been pretty decent about my decision, a lot of people though were pretty harsh to me especially when I was younger. It's hard too when I see the whole "having the capability to bear children" as something womanly, and I am nullgender (I am aware other non-cisgendered people take different views).

i have to disagree with that. Men and women are much more than just their genders, some men like traditionally womanly things like ballet dancing and some women like traditionally manly things like boxing and such.

EDIT: I'd like to also say, usually it's women giving me the hardest time about this subject which I find fascinating.

yea same experience XD.

[festive1]

When I was about four years old I decided, whilst walking to the store with my mom, that I did not want children. Ever. She was telling me all this heartwarming stuff about bearing children, because I asked about it, and I asked her immediately if there was a way to ensure I would not get pregnant. She told me about tubals and I said I was going to get that done. I also figured I wouldn't get married either, because fuck that.

My mom has been pretty decent about my decision, a lot of people though were pretty harsh to me especially when I was younger. It's hard too when I see the whole "having the capability to bear children" as something womanly, and I am nullgender (I am aware other non-cisgendered people take different views).

EDIT: I'd like to also say, usually it's women giving me the hardest time about this subject which I find fascinating.

My 7 year old is the same He had to do a time capsule for school and one of the questions was what kind of family he wanted when he grew up. He wrote that he wasn't going to get married or have babies (because babies are stinky and cry all the time). Then he drew a picture of himself lounging on a gigantic bed all alone, with a huge smile on his face. I'm sure his teacher thought that was odd, but we've assured him enough times that he can do whatever he wants with his life, and he's confident in that regard. I don't need to be a grandmother, just getting to see and experience my kids growing up is enough for me, they really are quite awesome

The mommy game is tough, and no one is tougher on moms than other moms. All of the mommy groups I've been to have issues with this in some way or another... Natural birth moms vs. interventionist birth moms. Breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. Night training vs. co-sleeping. Vaxing vs. not vaxing. Working moms vs. stay-at-home moms. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!
It's really sick that people feel the need to judge what is right or wrong for a family based on their personal experience. I've flat out been told by other moms that I'm a horrible mother because I vaxed my kids and breastfed them until they were 2 (in different circles of mommies).
Women are worse in this regard because they want you to join them... so they can judge you... Women can be bad about this, moreso then men in my experience.